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The Big "L" Word

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Bi Since Birth, Feb 26, 2012.

  1. Well...it just got thrown at me.

    (I had just gotten done telling him how it all happened too fast and now it seems he doesn't even want me)

    "i want you. dont say that . you can say i love you. i guess..."

    my response was "I really really like you but I can't throw the l word around like that we need to see eachother more"

    He ended up giving me shorter responses after that....

    My question is how long do you go into a relationship until saying "I Love you"....because honestly I've fallen head over heels for thisguy...knots in my chest when I think he may leave me cause I can't get myself to say those three words back to him...but I feel like its a big deal and it doesn't seem that he does...I understand they're just words but throing a word as heavy around as "love"...well...somebody could get hurt...it sinks deep when it hits you...but sometimes the person who threw it at you leaves and you're stuck with the weight of that word embedded in you....or an equally sized hole where it used to be...

    I seriously teared up talking to him....and my stomach is in knots...I NEVER cry. My brain is battling my heart, its exhausting. I've been dealing with this since noon...and its almost 8 now...im exhausted :tears:
     
  2. Merlot

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    If your doing it right, there is no set time, there is no strategy. You just flow naturally and let the chips fall where they may. You always do your best to be understanding and never let your partner burn.
     
  3. colorful

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    I completely understand not being able to say I love you back to someone.

    This is probably really awful because honestly it may have more of a chance of hurting someone than just saying I love you, but half the time I don't actually say love. I mean even saying modified forms of love is difficult for me and I only say it to those I truly care for. I just never want people to get the wrong idea. Sometimes I'll say "loves you too" or something like that... don't judge. Ha.
     
  4. Merlot

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    I was told that before and did my best to understand and we were together for a long time afterwards and were deeply in love.
     
  5. i used to say "lub" as a substitute...but even that is hard...i need to go drive up a mountain in my truck and smoke a few cigarettes and contemplate what it is I'm truly feeling...I havn't been this emotionally confused...i think ever...:eusa_clap at least I know life is staying interesting right? :eusa_doh: