I don't know if any of you read my last post, or remember it, but my mother has had a tendency of hurting me and whatnot for awhile now. Well, thanks to this new medicine for depression (one pill made me sedated, have breathing troubles and feel incredibly moody for 5 days) that I no longer take, I sorta told her off about how I felt and what I wanted for the first time in forever. Naturally, at one point she comes at me to hit me or whatever. What I wanted to do: Stand up, push her away, walk out, tell her I'm not gonna put up with that anymore. What I did: Sit with her over top of me, sobbing hysterically while blocking all blows as she gets frustrated that none are landing and telling me to stop defending myself only so I can blubber back "I'm not gonna let you!!" Pathetic, probably, but I survived dammit! So eventually she let go and we yelled for awhile (well, she did, I couldn't hardly breathe enough for yelling), which eventually calmed down into regular arguing and promises things would change. She still doesn't do ANYTHING I had begged for practically, but at least she's treating me like a human now. So everything is back to normal, but I happen to feel confident now that I've "defended" myself. I must say I'm super pissed she's been telling people I was attacking her though. I did NOT attack her, she attacked ME. And I hate the fact that my brother's nanny witnessed the whole thing and took my mother's side! She was even giving her advice for if I attack her again! WHAT THE HELL. Other than all of the above, it turned out alright. At least my step dad was on my side before he went back to accusing me of being in love with my best friend (isn't that just silly?). Then he had the nerve to call her things I'm not even going to write. I've tried joking around back with him, but he freaks out and gets nastier with the comments. Even my mom had to step in and tell him to shut it when he was calling her nasty names. And then he has to go and say "lesbians are just gross, but bi chicks are awesome. You should do that instead, unless the thought of being with a man is too disgusting for you, lezzy." But yeah, my mom says we'll start spending time together that doesn't involve me watching her cook or her telling me to clean. Which is nice. I'm just glad my Gramma is so supportive. She's the only person I can turn to and trust with this stuff anymore.
That sounds like a pretty disfunctional house that you're living in. Is your grandmother living there as well? Is there any possibility of you moving in with her? If leaving isn't a possibility, then limiting your interactions with your mother would likely be best. What is it that gets her so upset that she hits you? Is it when you talk about your orientation? What is it that you told her that you 'wanted'? And how did you tell her off? That maybe wasn't a wise thing to do... If this kind of abuse (physical and emotional) continues, I'd suggest you talk to someone you can trust. Either your grandmother or a teacher at school. This just isn't acceptable. At all.
Wow, I've got to hand it to you, if it was me, I wouldn't be able to sit there defending myself and trying to speak to her. I'd say you done a good job, keeping hold of yourself. I hope things work out for you!
