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Should I/ Would You???

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by chrisb, Dec 30, 2007.

  1. chrisb

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    Ok so this is kind of a weird situation but i might aswell shoot and share it.... Ok this guy that i went to school with from 5th grade till my Senior year who i have had a huge crush on i just found out has a brother that is gay, he looks almost identical.......I really would love to date him but on the other hand it would feel weird espeacially if he found out i went to school with his brother/i had a huge crush on him.....WHAT WOULD YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION??

    I mean he hasnt asked me and we only recently started a small convo getting to know each other, i have mixed feelings of disbelief, amazement, lust, and just plain hornyness i guess........I'm so loopy at finding this out........HELP! :confused: :bang: :slight_smile: :icon_redf :help: :help:
     
  2. waitingsucks

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    You should only have a relationship with him if pursue one if you have real feelings for him and not just trying to get the next best thing to his brother who u have the big crush on. This may not be the case tho. Just make sure you do it for the right reasons :slight_smile:
     
  3. chrisb

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    Exactly i need to get to know the guy himself as a person....instead of the fact he looks just like his brother have much to do with my decision making. Also he is not out, he is older then me by 3 years.
     
  4. Grantious

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    Heya,

    Yeah i think if he looks identical then there's a base to work on lol but i dont think you should jump straight..HA..(Bad joke) into it ya kno, you should find out if you like him!!! But neway its sounds promising! Could turn out to be really good you never KNOW!!! W00T!! and if you like him then go for it!

    Catch
    :eusa_clap :eusa_clap
     
  5. Owen

    In Loving Memory Full Member

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    Get to know him before you try dating him. If you become good friends with him, then go for it. And like Waitingsucks said, just make sure it's for the right reasons.
     
  6. sdc91

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    Yeah, I'd just be friends for a while first.

    Even if they look the same, they might have completely different personalities.
    (One of my pet peeves about being a twin . . . everyone assumes we're the same.)
     
  7. joeyconnick

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    Well if you do start dating or seeing each other, you have to find some casual yet fast way to let him know you knew his brother and maybe even that you had a crush on him upfront.

    Why?

    Well let's say things go well and you start dating and then eventually it's going to come out that you knew his brother. Then if you haven't told him, that'll seem weird and if someone is sensitive about being thought identical in every respect to their twin, just that could set him off. But if he ever finds out from anyone who is not you that you had a crush on his twin, I'm pretty sure that would end things for the two of you right then and there. Because basically that would confirm what is a very common twin fear (which I've heard before and which sdc91 has mentioned in this thread) that people don't see you as an individual, and in our society individuality is incredibly highly prized and lauded. So to him it could easily be taken as a fundamental slap in the face of "Oh you had a crush on my twin and that's the only reason you like me."

    Seems to me the best way if you want to proceed is find something about him that is different from his brother that you really like and make sure you communicate that to him.

    But in another vein, are you sure you're not living in a soap opera? :lol:
     
  8. joeyconnick

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    But you are! Haven't you heard? Everything is genetic, so of COURSE you're the same!

    (That was heavy sarcasm on my part, in case anyone missed that.)
     
  9. chrisb

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    There not twins though....his brother that i had a crush on is my age....he is 3 years older, they just have strikingly similar Facial Features, they have a different body mold though. I have been starting to talk to him at length things sound promising we are both coming off bad relationships and are not looking to rush things....i plan on telling him for sure that i went to school with his brother but not that i had a crush on him i don't see a reason for that. Not unless he asks me upfront on something then i won't lie. Also i kind of feel for his brother in a way in this situation as what are we gonna do at are high school reunion if somehow me and him end up staying together or worse breaking up and i run into his brother? AWKWARD...but really i'm just happy i met someone with the same interests as me....my palms are sweaty, heavy breathing, thoughts running threw my head!!!
     
  10. sdc91

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    I know they're not twins, I'm just saying siblings can be quite different even if they look the same.

    Hehe, we convinced our friend that we were counted as one person since we "shared a birth certificate" (we don't, btw) . . . and she believed us. How gullible.