So my friends are total bros, but sometimes their jokes hurt a lot. Like when they say things that bash on gay people and all sorts of things that just destroy my confidence. And since I'm closeted I don't wanna try to make anything out of it: it would make things super obvious. I mean, sometimes it seems like they know but then.. I just think back and can't think of anything that would set them off so I am lead to believe it's in my head. I guess what I'm babbling on about is just about how I can ignore it all. How can I try to laugh along wwith it or just play it cool. I really don't want to tell them all right now but that's another time's time. Any advice that isn't about me telling them I'm gay would rock. Thanks guys.
What I used to do was just tell myself its just a joke no need to get all offended or distraught by it. And I have friends that play along with it to the point of, well, yeah. So maybe just keep telling yourself to chill out or just play with it.
I know how you feel. I'm bigender, not gay, but those jokes still offend me because I have friends who are gay, and other friends who make jokes about gay people. My advice to you is to talk to those friends about it, and say something like, "Hey, those jokes can be really hurtful to some people, please stop." You can confront them about it, but still not tell them that you're gay. I hope this helps Best of luck to you!
Well, to be honest, you only really only have a couple options here. You can... 1.) Laugh/play along with it and make it seem like you completely agree with them even though you obviously don't. This doesn't really help though because then they're just going to keep doing it and your confidence is going to be continued to be crushed. If you do decide to just go along with it, just try to remember that they are not referring to you personally but are just making fun of stereotypes. 2.) You can try to sympathize some with gay people. You don't have to come out to them yourself but you can make up someone else (liek a fake cousin or something) and tell them that that person in your family is gay and you'd appreciate it if they could tone it down with the gay jokes. 3.) You could try to just shift the topic away from gay people in general, that way you could attempt to avoid the topic all together. 4.) You can come out to them (but you already said you don't want to do this, so just ignore this option )
you dont laugh or play along, if they ask you why you didnt find it funny you tell them because it isnt. if they ask you why take jonathans advice no.2 or u can go ape shit on them
First of all, your friends probably have no idea. And saying something about their comments probably won't be as likely to tip them off as you think - the fear that they're always just about to find out is also in your head. Secondly, as far as things to do - and I sympathize that coming out to them is probably not something you want to do right now, so that's fine - either stick up for yourself and people like you, or find new friends to hang out with. Finding at least one new/other friend to come out to might make a huge difference in your life, and who knows who you might be helping out by getting them to put a lid on it a bit? There are lots of ways you could come at it - paint yourself as the all-around good guy who watches out for the "little people," or put it in big grandiose terms (jump right to big-button issues like teen suicide as reasons they shouldn't make fun of gay people, or people in general). I really don't recommend just ignoring it, because unless it truly doesn't bother you (which I'm guessing from your post isn't the case), allowing yourself to be around that kind of thing constantly will only pull you down. And you deserve better.
bros are so funny to me. i like the ones that end up touching me and talking to me more than their "girlfriends". lol. classic!
