Sorry, I accidently posted this in Anonymous first. Anyways: I've had feelings for girls since around April of 6th Grade. It now will be March of 8th Grade. All I know is I'm not straight. About the end of August, I accepted the fact that I was bisexual. I came out to a few people in December and January as bisexual. But I really think I'm gay. Honestly all along I have, I just didn't want to be, I thought being bisexual would be "easier". So I convinced myself I was bisexual instead. I don't really care to think of sexual instances at the moment, at 13(soon to be 14) I want to wait anyways, so I'm not thinking of that until later on in my life, just romantically. If I imagine myself kissing a guy, it seems, normal. Nothing special. Just what everyone seems to do. Except they would get that special feeling. I can't see myself getting that. If I imagine myself with a girl, my stomach basically drops. I know I want a relationship like that. That would feel special to me. I know everyone says labels aren't important at my age, but this has been bugging the hell out of me.
It's okay: labels drive me nuts too! At a time, I thought I was bisexual too: It was easy to digest. But over time I discovered that I simply was not sexually attracted to men. I don't really find them attractive in that manner, and the idea of having a physical relationship with a man actually scares me. I had to be honest with myself: am I bisexual? My personal answer was no. I considered how I would be happiest in the future, and I could only see being happy with a woman in all the ways I could possibly want. Human sexuality and romanticism are very confusing: I think we're the only creatures on the planet who consider romance as important as we do. You might be attracted to dudes, but not sexually: which would make you romantic for men. I think that's also an important thing to consider too. Sorry, that probably didn't make much sense, I'm in a rush!!!!!!!! :::: (((
I'm glad that at 13 you recognize that it isn't about your physical attractions. You've got lots of time to figure that out. If you're attracted to girls rather than guys, then maybe you're gay. I wouldn't worry about coming out 'again' right away - if that's what's bugging you. Just let it be for a while.
I guess you're right. I'm afraid that if I tell my friend I'm gay, after already saying i'm bisexual, and then fall for a guy (extremely unlikely but possible) she's just going to think I'm a messed up person and don't know who I like. I just want to tell someone. Because I'm pretty sure I am, and I hate lying, like if they ask me if I still find a guy I used to like cute. I do, but not in the relationship wanting way, just as a friend and because I find him attractive, but they may be thinking that I still like him. So then if I tell them I'm gay later on, they may not believe me because I've had past (not strong or in the same way as a girl) feelings for guys. But thanks for the advice.
Do not worry about that. Just explain to them your personal situation. It may take some verbal running around, but you will get your point across. A girl I knew was a "biromantic homosexual", and her usual explanations often went as follows: Her: "My boyfriend and I saw a movie yesterday, I thought it was alright." Person: "Wait, I thought you were gay?" Her: "I am." Person: "But you have a boyfriend." Her: "Yes." Person: "But you're gay, you can't have a boyfriend." Her: "Yes I can, I'm biromantic: I can fall in love with boys and girls." Person: "So you're bisexual?" Her: "NO, what did I just tell you?" Person: "So..you're gay though?" and the cycle usually starts over. It's just a matter of explaining yourself as you see fit, if you even choose to. As you discover yourself, the label you choose may change: It is not a flighty thing, it is merely a normal part of self-discovery. If anyone thinks you're messed up for being sexually dysphoric, curious or confused, then they simply don't understand (not to say they can't understand, they just don't). Remember, finding your "proper" label isn't about other people, it's about you.
