Herro, EC :3 'Tis me, Lark, again. Since you guys were all seriously helpful and nice last time I posted, I thought I'd share another of my problems with you, and let you know how things have been going recently. (yaaaayyyy :| ) Well, I've been thinking a lot since half term, and I've since come to the slightly odd notion that I am gay. o.o Even now, it feels kind of weird admitting it, as I have kept my mouth pretty much firmly shut about the whole matter. The whole thing had come pretty suddenly for me, and I've realised that, almost without noticing it myself, that I've been hiding this from myself for a while. It's kind of refreshing to pull things into full view, and now that I've (almost) come to terms with it myself, I'm worried as to what I should do next. All I know is that I...like the same sex (lol it's such a weird thing to even type it for the first time) and I've gone off the idea that it's just a phase or any of that rubbish I was trying to use to shut it out earlier. It's real, and happening, and I've dealt with it. Well pretty much, anyway-I am still slightly terrified, lol. The thing is, now that I know it, it's like I've uncapped a fizzy drink and it's about to froth everywhere-I'm unsure just how long I can keep it hidden from my nearest and dearest. The past week has been torture for me-I've been longing to tell my oldest friend about it, but everytime I work up enough courage, one of my past-friends turns up, and I would rather die than let it slip to her. Cringeworthy. Meanwhile, it feels like I'm lying to her, and I've become quite distant. The people I've been worrying the most about, however, are my parents. :icon_eek: As far as I can remember, they have never showed any sign of being anti-gay, but nevertheless I'm terrified as to what they might be thinking under the surface. I've always felt that I've been a slight dissappointment to them, and I'm worried this will make this worse. My mum is just the kind of person who would try and pass it off as a 'phase', and I'm sure she would feel uncomfortable about it. As a result, I can't help but think about it every time I see them, and I've spent more and more time in my room, and snapped at them a few times. Today, they confronted me about my behaviour, and it took effort not to blurt it out-only fear and self-control stopped me. There are a couple of gay guys at my school, but certainly no girls. I've never been very popular in the first place, and if this ever got out at school, it could make life more difficult for me and my friends. However, without anyone to talk to face to face about it, I've been feeling a little isolated and lonely recently. I would if I could, but I'm not sure if I could ever have the guts; I'm not even sure if it will help at all. So, EC, any ideas? Should I think about it, or save it? ...lol, thanks for reading that. Here is a dancing banana for a reward. (!) plus another if you got the futurama ref. you are officially awesome. (!)
I only derserved one banana, because I didn't pick up on the Futurama reference. I never did watch that show. How old are you? That makes a difference. In the end it is up to you as to when you come out - and to who. Parents are tough for sure, and it's best to come out to them when you're more comfortable and positive about all this first. It's easiest to come out to people when you don't really care what their reaction is - and that you're able to stay calm and positive regardless. So you might want to wait. I know it can feel isolating, and that's normal. Suddenly you know something about you that nobody else does - and you start wondering whether or not they'd like you as much if they knew this secret. Eventually you'll learn that they will like you just as much - and that this doesn't matter. But no matter how many of us tell you that, you'll not be convinced until you've proved it for yourself. Confiding in someone will likely help. But there's no rush - do it when you're ready.
I think perhaps coming out to one close friend would be of benefit to you. You might have to set up a situation in which to do this, sometimes situations present themselves naturally but this cannot be guaranteed. I wouldnt start with your parents because they are usually harder than other people, but if you have a friend that you know you can trust and that would be able to keep it a secret then, you probably have less to lose.
