Hey, I haven't been on this forum for a few weeks, I only participated with casual things on this forum until now, I don't know why but I wanted share this story, But before I start I apologize for my bad grammar, and I am not 100% sure this is the right place to post it. I have been out of the closet now for more than a year, I have accepted who I am and I am working on some personal issues, one in particular my trust issues with people, because in the past people looked down on me, made hateful remarks about me and people backstabbed me on mutiple occasions. in the past I really hated myself, didn't give a damn how i looked like because of that I was rather chubby and suicidal. I grew up in a rather dysfunctional family, my father had a drug and alchol addiction and of top of that a mental disorder, In my first 14 years I went to church ,they were really homophobic, So the thoughts of being gay didn't even cross my mind at that time, plus the fact that i live in a rural area didn't helped either. I really hated going to school, because I wasn't and still am not ,your averarge guy because I am not really femine but something close to that, and needles to say so a lot of people didn't liked that, I remember one day someone saying to me: why they hell can't you walk like a normal guy, And I was always worried about what people were thinking of me, So slowy I isolated myself when I went to school. The only time i really felt at ease was when I had acting classes, the teachter said that I really should try do more with it but I was too insecure to do something with it . So after denying my sexualty and neglecting myself for quite some time, a year and a halve ago I slowy started begining to get some confideince in myself and discovering who I really was, I slowy started to take more of myself and stop giving a damn what other people were thinking about me(that really helps a lot) So after six years I finally decided to do a acting course, and after that I never have felt so good in my life! Having finally found something I love to do, and really want to go furhter with , I never had that before in my entire life. So yeah I am slowly getting there:icon_bigg
It is really great reading stories such as yours. You have overcome quite a few things already and seem to have been able to use your experiences to make things better for yourself. It's wonderful that you have found something that you love doing and it has given you some confidence in yourself. Having something that you love doing, and perhaps also connecting with people in a different way, will give you chances/opportunities to build trust and learn how to trust people again.
