Just recently I became kind of paranoid becuase I thought girls were pretty but I didnt feel attracted to them, and I tried to feel attracted to them and it didnt work out at all. Now I actually know Imn not attracted to girls, and I like really like guys(but seriously its getting out of control!!) However, I still cant move on!! Im dying to tell someone, and I already know who I could tell, but everytime I might get the chance, I freak out and start thinking that if I tell them I will close any chance of being with a girl...... but I dont want to be with a girl!! :bang: I just dont know how to let it go!!! Another thing that doesnt help at all is that I dont know how to say it, I dont know how to bring it up in a conversation. So this plus the "what if I meet a girl" situation are just getting on the way :help:
I think, at least for me, that saying out loud that you are gay makes it real. I know that this sounds strange, but I can't find a better way to explain it. It's like it suddenly hits you the fact that your life won't be the same as before. You are 'different'. You will start dating guys instead of girls, and it's scary for some. I had the exact same thoughts as you before I could tell my sister (who is a lesbian btw). Everytime I tried to tell her I would choke and panic. Because of that I wrote her an email, and after that we talked and now we are closer than ever before. It was hard for me to get those words out, and I think it's hard for everyone. The first step is to accept that you are gay. There is nothing wrong with being gay, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. After this, there is nothing you should be afraid of. If you feel your friends care about you and you trust them, then nothing should change. Writing an email for me was the best option, so I recommend that to you. Hope this helps, and good luck ! Ps: Sorry for my bad english :S
Well, I can understand where you're coming from. I mean, I know I'm definitely gay, but I did used to think "That girl isn't bad looking. WHAT IF I'M STRAIGHT?" However, when I thought about it, I realized that it was more that I acknowledged she was good-looking rather than that I found her attractive. Also, whenever I compared being with a girl vs. with a guy, it became obvious what I preferred. You seem pretty sure that you don't like girls, so I don't think you'll be cutting yourself off from any opportunities. For me, I realized that maybe it's possible I COULD love a girl, but I wouldn't be in love with her or attracted to her, whereas with a man, I would. Well, best of luck! Hope a helped bit
Sometimes, by taking things to extremes, we can help ourselves understand when we're being ridiculous. OK, so let's say that you announce to the world that you're gay. Everyone knows, everyone is fine with it, and everyone expects to see you bring around some cute boy. And then you happen to meet the one-in-a-million girl who really does it for you, and you decide to go out with her. What are you afraid is going to happen? Plagues of locusts? Shunning of your entire family and friends because you *gasp* happen to like a girl? Worldwide famine? Police show up and arrest you for loving a girl instead of a guy after you've claimed to be gay? Really... at worst, people will go "Oh, I thought you were gay." To which you say "So did I, but I like this girl." And they'll respond with "Oh." And that will be about it. I agree with 19Boy that saying it makes it much more real for many people, and I suspect that's the bigger deal. The truth is, most people who identify as straight or as gay aren't 100% in either camp; Kinsey tells us only about 10% are 100% at one end or the other. And many people are mostly gay, but a little bi, and still call themselves gay. (Many more are nearly 100% gay but not comfortable with that label, so they stick with "bi" even if they've never had an opposite-sex relationship and dozens of same sex ones.) So a label is just a label of convenience. Nothing more. And once you can really wrap your head around that, I think you'll realize it's not as big a deal as you're making it out to be.
when i came out i was still like that, what if i meet a girl i like? but I think eventually that feeling goes away. and one of my friends said to me after i came out to herwas "its ok if you meet a girl" and if your realy worried about it you could come out bi
