Invisible

well im only 14 so i dont really know if you really care, but ive been through that sort of, so if u ever want to anyone im here for you i promise i wont ignore you

 

The truth is it's a million times easier to take an interest in other people instead of waiting for them to come to you. People LOVE to talk about themselves. Instead of waiting for other people to come to you, be proactive about it. Ask them questions, give them some compliments. Say you really love so-and-so's hair or her shoes or complain about how much homework your professor gave you, ask if they studied for the test. Talk about the game you saw them at. Whatever. Strike up a conversation.

I don't want to be dismissive of what you're feeling, but I think the invisibleness is mostly perceived and not actual. Even I sometimes feel that way and I carry a backpack so shockingly neon orange that it will give you a tan. I'm just saying that sometimes how we feel isn't always what is in fact actually going on.

The seating arrangements you brought up in particular really bothered me. I had a class last semester with only six people in it. We've had classes together for the last three years, worked on projects together, and we all sat at different tables during this class, and the lecture hall we were in is enormous. It's meant to hold 70+ students. We were so far away from one another that I genuinely had to squint to see a guy I know sitting on the other side of the room. It's not that we don't like each other or don't want to associate with one another, we just like our space. We all wanted a window seat. You know? As for the girl that sat in the aisle, I don't know what her problem was, but trust me, that reflected on her, not you. I would have been gawking at her, anyway.

I definitely don't ignore anyone. If you ever want to just chat or whatever, that's fine. ^_^

 

Maybe the fact that you are tired of being ignored means that you are ready to not be!

Remember that you must think highly of yourself, because the world takes you at your estimate. Also you must learn to interject, thats where being outgoing is important.

If you want something go to the horses mouth for it, dont say you want it if you dont want to make the first move on making it happen.

 

this, my life.
trust me, you are not alone.
literally in some of my classes even the teachers cant associate me with the name on the roster.

 

lol. But the world needs people like you. I see things like these as necessary. I have a friend exactly like you describe yourself and me and him are great friends...i don't even know when we became friends. The point is, he's awesome exactly because he seems invisible lol. He can do stuff others can't. Covert mission stuff lol. Anyway, i'm sure you're overheating as well.

---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2012 at 03:21 AM ----------

lol. Epic fail!!! I meant to say - overreacting

 

The one who is invisible is the one who will achieve great prosperity because they are free from the distractions of the outer world. Just something to think about.

 

There are some personal questions I would ask.

First, you're profile says 'Not out at all.' This seems indicative of introversion. Introversion will cause people to sense there are secrets, and shy away. I, too, was the same way, and it really, really sucks. Usually introverts have developed this as a defense to being vulnerable, because the thought of being vulnerable is frightening.

Second, along the same lines, how do you feel about vulnerability? Nervous, frightened, scared? Usually these feelings will be felt with vulnerability when there has been psychological trauma in the past. Has someone close to you hurt you, either physically or mentally as a child? This will cause you to build defenses in your mind. One idea is when the mind experiences situations it doesn't have the skill set for, it will avoid it, and build walls. Most commonly realized by children, sadly.

Third, your home life plays a part in this. How open was/is your family? Families who communicate often see less problems than those who don't. The sense of openess and support is there.

When I say vulnerable, I mean sharing your deepest, darkest secrets and desires. When you feel like you can't share these feelings with anyone, it's a deep sense of loneliness. Like feeling alone in a crowd, which is an extremely scary feeling, and desperate feeling. That said, it often leads to feelings that you've posted on your first post.

I'll share my experience here. I grew up in a right wing extremist family. Super religious, it was crammed down my throat, and no communication. My sister would hold knives to me before I was able to overpower her. Everything I said was always met with disection, and ultimately I was always wrong. I had to live my life according to what my parents wanted, any mistake meant I was useless and a screw up. Any dreams I had were wrong, and everything was my fault, no one else did any wrong. I was always under my parents control.

I learned very young to bottle everything up, and never speak of it. It got me through. I married eventually, and my marriage almost fell apart. My wife left for a week after a fight over $50 where a firearm was brought out by me, handed to my wife, and I told her to use it on me, and solve the issue. We both sought counseling after that.

3 years of counseling, dealing with our pasts, as she had a bad childhood also, led us to a point of honesty. Now, I've been with her 7.5 years, and told her a secret I've been holding on to for 17 years. Turns out she already had those inclinations about me. But, now we're working with it, and have a beautiful family and a happy home.

A few very close friends that you can trust, and a psychologist should help you work through the feelings you are experiencing. Hope this helps...

P. S. On a side note, I have decided to eliminate my blood line from my life. They refused to change, or even admit they were wrong in any way. They were a poison to me, so I eliminated the poison. I'll help you where I can, if you desire my help.