Ok so I have been thinking very hard of coming out as being gay to my best friend, but I really have no idea how to even start the conversation. This isnt the first person I will have come out to, I have come out to two of my ex girlfriends who ended up taking it better than I had thought. Then again this is my best friend who is a guy, and I am pretty positive he is straight. Its not that I like him and hope hes gay too, I just really want to let him know who I am and that it doesnt change who his friend is. I have tried time and time again all through high school and even after I graduated to keep dating girls thinking there was just something I was missing that everyone else saw, and then it just hit me that I am just simply not attracted to them no matter how hard I try. I have only been friends with this guy for about 2 years, but we have become almost like brothers in this short time, he is pretty much the best friend I have ever had and I really want to start being myself around him instead of just acting. He has even asked me a couple times (jokingly of course I think) if I noticed the butt on the girl in front of us and stuff like that. I just quickly lie though and say that i did and it looked great. He asked me one time walking out of Wal-Mart why I never got excited about seeing girls the way he does, and if I was gay or not. But all I said was that I wasnt gay and I am just very picky when it came to girls, and he left the topic alone. He does make quite a few gay jokes at times, and I laugh because they are kind of funny, because I believe in laughing at yourself (even if nobody else knows thats what youre doing). I know this is a lengthy post but I just needed to share the story, and hopefully someone can give me some advice on where I can start in telling him. Keep in mind that I am not a flamboyant type gay, I am just a regular guy, I like to do a lot of things that are labeled as straight guy activities, like hunting, fishing, paintball, going out and shooting guns, stuff like that. I feel like this is going to be the hardest thing I'll ever do, but at the same time a huge weight will be lifted off my shoulders.
May be start off with something like "Remember the time you asked me why I'm never excited about seeing girls? Well, that's because I'm gay". Rather than starting with "I'm gay" which is really hard to do, approach the subject from past experiences you can both relate to. If you feel uncomfortable talking face-to-face then you could try via sms or email or whatever. Or else, next time he comments on how good a girl looks, just say "you know, to be honest with you, I'm not interested in girls that way..." And if he doesn't get the hint, add "I like/prefer guys". Good luck!!
Here's a letter I wrote to my best friend. I never gave it to him or read it when I finally came out, but, the message that came from my mouth was roughly the same: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/comin...-ive-finally-wrang-all-bs-out-have-truth.html Here's my actual coming out story: http://emptyclosets.com/forum/coming-out-stories/58181-7000-pound-weight-finally-lifted.html Basically, for me, coming out was a 'from the heart' thing to my best friend. I had no hidden person on the side, no secret agenda, and I'm still not sure what I wanted from life - I just wanted the people closest to me to know what I'm struggling with. My opening line to my best friend (not when I was slobbering drunk and blurted out I'm gay), but, later when we actually talked was "We started talking the other night when I was too drunk to hold a conversation. I want you to know that I apologize if you see me as deceitful. My sexual orientation is a very private, and personal matter to me. I've only recently been able to come to grips with it myself which I had to do before I could even consider discussing it with another person...." Whatever you say to your friend, make sure it's from the heart, that's the best message you can give. Hopefully, it changes nothing.
Thanks for the advice guys, telling him in person would probably be the best go for me, since its the only way i can ever get out what i really want to say. Hopefully i can muster up the courage sometime soon to tell him. I appreciate everyones advice it really helps.
