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This wasn't what I was getting into

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Lotty, Mar 2, 2012.

  1. Lotty

    Regular Member

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    A long while back, I had a girlfriend, A. We dated for about a week, then she broke it off. No harm done, we went back to being friends. Later, I found out she dumped me for someone else, my best guy friend, which I had to find out from someone else. So I confronted her, and she said, yes, she was dating B, and she hadn't told me because she was afraid of my reaction. Well, all was cool, she and B were a cute couple, sometimes a bit too much. A was still my best girl friend, and B was still my best guy friend. A few weeks later, B and I went to a party. A wasn't allowed to come. B and I had a bit to drink, but not too much, just enough to pull out the stops. So I practically accused him of stealing my girlfriend. He said sorry, and he said he wouldn't mind sharing her with me. He said if anyone else tried to hit on her, he'd kill them, but he said he wouldn't mind it if it was me.
    I took it as drunken talk.
    Then on New year's eve, A was staying over at mine to celebrate. B had also come over for dinner. We were talking, and suddenly it came up again. In the end, B and I had agreed that we could share A, and A said she didn't mind being shared.
    Don't get this wrong, what was going on between A and me was pure attraction and strong friendship, not love.
    So we became friends with benefits, except for the sex. We only made out. All was well.
    Until a few days ago. We'd almost had sex (a bit awkward exploring), and suddenly she said she loved me. At that moment, it felt right, so I said it back to her. And I meant it.
    But that's what's bugging me. It wasn't supposed to be about love. I don't want to love her like I do. Because she'll always choose B over me.
    I know the main advise is going to be: get out. But I can't.
    Thoughts on this?
     
  2. Toneth

    Full Member

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    well my personal opinion is that a relationship of 3 people is NEARLY impossible to work out, eventually, someone gets jealous. but regardless, why waste your time on someone seems to think you're not enough for her? you can certainly do better and find someone worth your love, I know I'm blunt but I can't help it, don't just walk away, run!
     
  3. diniesaur

    Regular Member

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    I very, very, very, very... :rolle: ...very, very, very, VERY strongly disagree! I believe that if everyone is all right with the relationship and there is real love, it will be fine. People will feel jealousy; that is natural. But people need to realize that jealousy is not something to be reveled in, and it is not something on which you can base good decisions. Love is. Jealousy is something that everyone must move past, not just in love, but in all aspects of life.

    ---------- Post added 2nd Mar 2012 at 09:11 PM ----------

    I also wish you good luck with your relationship and I hope you choose love over hate.
     
  4. diniesaur

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    How is it going?