So I was in my bio class today and decided I would break up with my gf, while we were passing notes. She was being a complete idiot all day leading up to it and frankly since weve been back together I haven't even held her hand and its been like 3 weeks. She was walking around saying who she was going to marry and whos babbies she would be having, which really ticked me off! She never once said a single thing about us being together in the future, she treats everything like a big joke and I just got sick of it! Im tierd of her and how immature she always is! (sorry, bit of a rant...) So anyways I was wondering do you guys think it was bad to break up with her threw a note? I guess I sorta feel bad, but I couldn't possibly do it anywhere else. Im just wondering.... thanks. :/
While she probably shouldn't have been going around talking like that, it probably wasn't the best thing to do breaking it off over notes. Or in the middle of class. It's usually best being able to talk things over in private, or at least over the phone.
I agree with Cascade. A break-up in my opinion should be done as personally as possible. Or indeed, if face-to-face makes you feel uncomfortable, over the phone. However, what's done is done and you can't change it so instead of feeling bad about it maybe you can still tell her you'd like to explain your reasons face-to-face. That way she'll know why you broke up with her and she'll feel more respected. And of course, you'll feel better about it too
You complained about her being very immature, then break up with her via a note in class. That sounds pretty immature to me. But I'm not trying to beat you up over it, you had every right to dump her if she was not being mature enough for you. So while you did have the right to break up, you could have found a better way to do it. Justinf had a good idea about talking to her, apologizing about the note and trying to come to an understanding. It'd probably help both of you feel better about the situation.
I'm sorry that you felt like you had to break up with her, but there will be other girls don't worry. Also, I think that all break-ups should be done face to face. But sometimes I think a non face to face break up is okay. In this case maybe you should talk to her and let her know why you chose to break up with her. It will sort of "tie up loose ends" in a sense. She will know why and you will probably feel less guilty.
Talk to her. Face to face would probably be best, but over the phone might work, too. When a friendship or relationship ends, there's always going to be a lot of confusion. Not communicating effectively will only make things worse for everyone involved. My roommate recently called off our friendship -- she's moving out as soon as she can. She's also refusing to talk to me about it, not even saying goodbye before leaving for spring break. I only have a vague idea of what happened, and not being able to talk to her about it and get some closure is what's really hurting me right now. In short, don't be like my roommate: even if you don't want to be friends with your former girlfriend, both of you will feel better if you communicate.
I want to be her friend though. I want to talk to her, I've tried, but she wont listen to me. She gives me this glare, that mean: "Not now, not ever, im straight, stop talking to me" Shes really far back in the closet.... And there is nowhere private to talk and I don't have a phone to call her with. I would love to talk about it with her, but i can't. I feel so bad about that stupid note, I was just so angry... And it wasn't just that. When we first got back together she punched me in the face, she always ditches me to hangout with her friend that hates me, and i just feel like she always uses me. I just really need some help guys, Im confused.
In which case, you're in the same boat as me. If she doesn't want to talk, then there really isn't much you can do other than hope she changes her mind. You might want to try giving her some time to cool off and then giving her a proper letter explaining how you feel. That way you at least get some small amount of satisfaction from knowing that you tried, even if it doesn't change anything in the end.
