Well, my sister is coming over tomorrow, she is more than likely to bring her two girls, (11 years and 10 years old) With today's society, do you think they should know now? or let them find out their own way?
This will definitely be something to discuss with your sister and her level of comfort in explaining things of a biological nature with her children. Bring it up to her and offer to buy your sister a a few age-appropriate storytelling books on gay couples. As these are her children, you'll have to follow her lead. If she's fully aware that you're out and gay, it may be a non-issue.
I forgot to mention that I'm not out to her yet and I was planning on telling her tomorrow, my oops, But I do agree that storybooks would be a good option, finding them a different matter, as The only homosexual storybook I saw was about lesbians.
I second Coutervail, they are a little young; even telling one of my cousins at 12-13 they'd laugh and won't really understand why.. or even how you can be gay. I reckon just talk to you sister for sure and wait a while.
Most kids by that age already know what homosexuality is about, especially with the media being what it is. I might just be weird, but pretty much everyone in my elementary school knew what being, "gay," was, and that was ten years ago. However, I do think you should discuss it with your sister first. They're her kids, after all.
I agree with b0i70y, the fact is, they're going to find out eventually if you're in (or will be in) a relationship. The thing in this case is that your sister doesn't yet know. You may consider telling her privately, out of respect, but no matter what her reaction is, she will have to understand that there are only two options and both of them involve her daughters finding out - you tell them, or they discover naturally.
It's probably best to tell your sister first. Her kids will probably be fine with it, but she might not want them to know right now, or might prefer if she told them herself.
It also depends on where you live. I hear children speak about gay people in the same way they speak about straight people all the time. In fact, last week I heard a child of 6 or 7 talking about the gay people her mom saw naked at an Occupy rally. She was more giggly about the naked part than about the gay part. Just to add to this. I overheard a story about a family who saw a play called "Gay or European" (this was in San Francisco). The young child in the family said, "Mom, can I ask you something about the play?". The mom braced herself, thinking, "Ok, here we go." (she wanted to explain what gay was in a simple and accepting way.). The kid asks, "What's European?" Clearly, the child knew what gay was and had no issue with gays. That being said, I would come out to your sister first. That way she can support you in coming out to your nieces later on. ---------- Post added 3rd Mar 2012 at 10:47 AM ---------- I wholeheartedly disagree with this sentiment. I know gay couples who raise their own, or adopted, children and the children obviously know that their parents are gay. There is an age appropriate way to describe everything. In this case, focus on the love and living together part. Something as simple as, "Your uncle and his husband love each other and live together just like Daddy and I love each other and live together." Kids of any age are able to accept this simple truth.
That is what I was planning to do in the first place, and if she does end up telling them, I do hope she asks first, I'm sure she will, but my nieces aren't the best are keeping secrets, I remember one time (yes I know they're too young) but one posted on facebook about something for my mother (also on FB)
Ah. Well, that's a different question, really. They aren't too young to know, but they might be too young to keep secrets. It doesn't send a very good message either--if you don't want them to think being gay is something to be ashamed of, it probably isn't best to ask them to keep it secret. Also, if they feel very close to you, they will be upset when other kids say stuff about gay people, and it will be very hard on them not being able to defend you and say what they feel about it. Secrets are bad for people. But there's no reason they shouldn't know about gay people. If you haven't seen this already, watch it. It's awesome. [YOUTUBE]KMxAeRMhxGM[/YOUTUBE]
Such a cute video, thanks for sharing, brought a small tear in my eye, I understand what you're saying, I think they do know of homosexuality, as one of them has used the term "Gay" properly, the eldest one anyway. not too sure about the younger one.
You're never too young to learn that a man can be in love with another man. Do you need to tell them that you're gay? No but you can tell them if you want. But dont hide it from them whatever you do.
Would it be easier saying to them that one day, they will have another uncle, instead of an aunt? or would that just complicate things?
You can probably just tell them you're like Kurt from Glee. Ten and eleven isn't quite as young as you seem to think. They will almost certainly know what "gay" is. My young neighbor about that age didn't know gay, but, hilariously, she did know "lesbo." But English is her second language. Most girls that age know. When I was that age, most of the other girls were already obsessing over boy bands. They know what it means to "like" someone, and even if they don't understand "gay," they will understand if you tell them that you like men instead of women. Boys develop a little bit behind girls in this area, so if they were boys, there might be a little more to worry about. But since they're girls, and they are probably friends with a bunch of girls, the subject of which boys are cute and whatever is already becoming a CONSTANT topic of discussion. (Which is kind of alienating if you happen to be a lesbian.) Girls are usually pretty good about grasping concepts related to interpersonal relationships, too. Is there any particular reason to think your sister will want to keep it from them?
