I Need To Change!

Just calm down for a moment. I know its hard. I had the same sort of issue, my first girlfriend told me she figured out she wasn't really gay and stopped speaking to me, she was my best friend too. You are still young give it some time. I'm sorry I can't offer any better advice, but from the experience that I had it does get better.

 

First off, we are on here to listen (or read) and respond. There is no reason to feel alone.

Talk to someone like a counselor or therapist face to face. Medication or therapy can help get you through this.

Hang in there. Focus on some other areas of your life right now. Focus on what is going well, and keep doing those things more and more. Or find something to distract you while you get over the breakup. Netflix has been a huge help for me and other friends who have gone thru nasty breakups. Mind numbing stress relief. Keep us posted. And don't give up. You will get through this.

 

Hi sweetheart (*hug*),

I am sorry you're hurting. Going through heartbreaks is never easy, no more is it to be a teenager, and being gay is the icing on the cake. I understand that all this happening at the same time is overwhelming, but you're going to make it through (*hug*).
You're gay (more accurately, if I understand your orientation well, bisexual but more attracted to girls). That's not going to change and that's something you'll have to accept.
There is no way to turn a gay (or bisexual) person straight, and people who are saying such a thing are nothing but dangerous quacks.
I understand it is something that is difficult to accept, mostly because of the fear of being rejected by family, friends, co-workers, society in general... But fortunately, even if the process is (too) slow, acceptance is growing.
For now, it might be difficult for your parents to accept your orientation. I understand it's difficult for you, but you're also still very young. Yesterday you were you parents baby-girl and now they're discovering you have a sexual orientation... that's something they were not prepared to listen. Give them time. They're going to struggle with this for a while, but I'm confident that in the end, they'll come to the conclusion they love you no matter what.
As for your ex-bestfriend-girlfriend... I am truly sorry you're going through such a tough heartbreak, but that kind of story is something that happens to most teenagers, whether they're straight, gay or bi. First loves often end up in a pretty ugly way. I agree with you that the fact your friend is probably also insecure about her own sexual orientation probably doesn't help, but honestly, things aren't that much easier for straight teenagers than they are for gay teenagers. Fear of rejection, crushes on friends, heartbreaks... those are things that are part of pretty much everyone's experience.
I understand that it isn't much of a comfort to know that, but on the bright side, most people are making through this ok, and so you will make it too. It's mostly a matter of time, but I promise, it will get better.
Until then, hold on and take care of yourself (*hug*) Cécile

 

Death is not an option sweetie. Remember that trouble doesn't last always. Try to get counseling and consider telling your parents how you feel.

 

Saying "you're young, give it time" really doesn't help all that much I imagine. This is called post-coming out depression and most of us get it. I'll start by saying good for you for coming out so early, it starts your maturation as a gay/bisexual woman early. I came out less than 6 months ago and I'm 23. I'm still struggling with the feeling that I don't fit in anywhere and that theres a giant "LESBIAN!" sign on my forehead.

I believe that coming out as an adult a person undergoes a second puberty. Most people before coming out tried the straight road and convinced themselves that this is the right path for them. They learned how to interact with the opposite sex, be attractive and attracted and such. Then you pull your head to the surface and realize that you're gay and that it's time to come out. Once that happens you need to learn how to interact with the same sex in a new way, and thats scary. You re-identify with the world and other people, much like you did when you were 13 or 14 when you first hit puberty and felt all of those frustrations and anxieties and the loneliness.

You can't stop yourself from being attracted to women, it wont go away. I've thought a few times that it would be just so easy to be straight. And then I see a really cute girl in a coffee shop or bus or a classroom and I realize that I would never be able to or want to stop liking women!