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I don't know who I am...

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Sayu, Mar 3, 2012.

  1. Sayu

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    This has been going on my mind for quite a long time. I don't know whether I should call myself a transgender or not. The thing is, I have grown up with an older brother and I have always been a tomboy and played all the boyish games with him. Even later, I felt more comfortable with male friends around me. I have always loved climbing on the trees, riding a bike (in some kind of "boyish style"), playing with cars and legos. Barbies were not my thing at all...

    I have always had short hair and used to wear pretty much boys clothes. I was never thinking of what I was going to wear that day, I just randomly picked some T-shirt and some trousers and those were almost all boys wearings. But in last few years, I became very caring of my clothing, and everyday I now consider what will I wear. And in the end, I always try to find the most ungirlish clothes. My hair is short and I act pretty much like a boy.

    About a year ago, I found out, that I don't usually realise that I am, in fact, a girl. I just walk on the street or in school and suddenly it comes up to my mind "Oh, I am a girl!" Many people who I have never met before still think I am a boy and I don't really mind that. Not at all... But I'm not going to have a surgery, no way. I am myself and I want to be this way, although I envy my female classmates who have small breasts... I considered breast-binding as not a good idea, so I just try to hide my breasts with large T-shirts :slight_smile:

    I am attracted to girls and I have been fallen in love with one for two and a half year (is it 4th March already? Yes, it is... OMG, it is my anniversary day - 2,5 year since we have met... :kiss:). In a relationship I would like to be the "man".

    I also like boys, but I feel very uncomfortable when I think of having a sex with a boy. Sometimes I feel I would only go out with a boy if I were a boy too... This may sound stupid, but I hope there are people who can understand my feelings.

    So, the question I've been asking myself a lot recently is: "Who am I?"
    Is there anybody who could help me with identifying myself?
     
    #1 Sayu, Mar 3, 2012
    Last edited: Mar 3, 2012
  2. Ianthe

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    I think Ivan Coyote can help you better than I can:

    [YOUTUBE]pN-py8zojfk[/YOUTUBE]


    You should look up more of her stuff. She's great.
     
  3. Sayu

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    Thanks, I will check that out :slight_smile: