I used to like this guy whom I used to attend college with, but upon meeting him and getting to know him, I realized that we could never be anything more than friends. He was always intimidated by the fact that I liked women, as well. Well, much time has passed and now, he has a girlfriend. I have to admit that even though I'm gay, I'm so jealous. I wish I could've liked him the way I like women. I thought he could change me, but it didn't work. I put too much pressure on him, unknowingly and hoping he'd help me stop liking women. It didn't work, so I had some resentment towards him, especially her (his gf, btw idk know her at all) because she can love and be with him. I, on the other hand could never had been with him because I'm gay. It's a terrible feeling. I need counseling; I'm trying so hard not to be jealous, as he & I were close a long time ago. I'm very happy for him, but also very envious. How can I let go of the resentment that I have towards him? I mean, I know it's not his fault that I'm gay, but I can't seem to let this go, help?! Btw...I'm very happy being gay even though it took yrs to get to this point in my life. Any advice is greatly appreciated, thanks in advance
Perhaps you should research the 5 stages of loss. It sounds like you are grieving the loss of your non-gay identity with your ex. Maybe it is because you must let go of something in yourself, rather then letting him go. What can you do to love yourself more?
I'll research that, thank you so much. I tried to explain this to my family, and they're like, ”What?” Lol, I think you're onto something! I guess I'm trying to hang onto a little bit of what old life used to be like. I mean, I have other male friends, yet there's just something about him. I think I kind of had my expectations too high when I first met him, this was before when I thought sexual orientation could be changed. Boy, was I crazy for listening to those radical religious people who dislike gays.
