There was this girl that I sort of liked/still do like. She was sort of the reason that I thought/think I could be gay. She gives hugs and stuff to everyone, which is fine because we are not actually together or anything, but for some reason when we are in public it makes me really angry. I don’t know why. I wish it didn’t. Anyway, last night we were at the movies with friends and I was just getting really annoyed with her hugging me. Thankfully she did nothing during the movie because I am not out and don’t really plan to be soon because I’m not really sure what I am. I just feel super awkward around her now. When we were standing around after the movie she was hanging on me and I pushed her off. I mean not roughly or anything, but I think it really upset her because she then walked outside... I basically ignored her the whole night even before that… I just feel really bad about it because she’s a really great person, though really awkward and I didn’t mean to hurt her. I don’t know what to do. Maybe the reason everything she irks me so much is because I wish I wasn’t gay (if I am) and she reminds me of it and makes me confused. I feel like there was something between us and I ruined it because I’m still not really sure what I am. I guess I need to get over what society thinks. I just really feel like everything gay has been thrown in my face lately. My friends are constantly bringing it up and I’ve just gotten really self-concious like they know or something so I keep trying to avoid anything that could possibly make me seem gay (which probably makes it more obvious if they already think I am.) What should I do about my friend? Do you need more detail? I don't know what to do. I think I like her, but I'm not out and I wasn't really planning on being at least not anytime soon. What should I say to her now about my behavior? I don't know how to apologize... Help?
The best thing to do would to be just to talk to her about it. Tell her you aren't comfortable with how she acts around you. Also talk to her about how you are feeling sexually. It might help to have a friend who can be supported even though she isn't your girl friend. And as time goes on you may find that your relationship develops.
So I sent her like a five page message about the whole thing a while ago and she hasn't responded which makes me a bit nervous. /: I mean if this doesn't go too well I still have to see her because we are in scouts together. I'm afraid all I did was make a very awkward situation...
Well 5 pages is alot to digest give her some time! Either way it may be awkward for awhile because it takes some time to adjust but it always gets better
