Ok, well maybe I joined this site to get some advice, and I guess it seems selfish that I can't give any back as I'm new to this whole thing, but here goes. At the moment I am quite confused. I don't know what I want but there are a few things that are certain: 1) I'm attracted to some girls 2) I'm attracted to some guys 3) Don't know what the hell to do about it Since I've turned 16 I've noticed that I've been looking at guys more, and in a different way... like sexually. And I'm pretty sure I like them (well at least some of them). I've had relationships with girls in the past and they've been nice but I dunno... Maybe I want something different? I'd like to try a relationship with a boy just to see what it's like and go on from there really but it's incredibly hard to find someone when you're not even sure about yourself. My ideal situation would be to find someone who was closeted/ confused like me and experiment and stuff and see what happens from there. This would avoid people asking questions and could be passed off as a friendship and nothing more. However the problem with finding someone like that is almost impossible if they're closeted themselves, how will I know if they're gay/ curious or not? There is this one boy who goes to a different school to me, I see him walking the opposite direction when I'm in the car every morning and we always make eye contact. He's attractive and walks quite campily and is always alone so he could be in the same situation as I'm in. However I am completely clutching at straws here and in my mind it seems totally far fetched and theres no way I should rely on stereotyping someone who most probably is straight. It would be great to get to know him and I'm pretty sure he knows none of my friends so I'd be more relaxed and open to him I guess. So my problem is: should I approach him? My school breaks up earlier than his does so one morning in my holidays I could walk his way and meet him like that, but I don't know if I have the confidence to do that. If not, how can I meet people like myself? Or maybe outed people who don't have any connections with my present life? I know my problems seem way too much effort but thanks for taking the time to read this (I know it's long).
First of all, welcome to EC. You'll find out soon enough that everyone here is a helpful bunch. Second, just take a deep breath. It sounds like you are keeping an open mind about all of this. That's all it takes to get through this. To kill two birds with one stone, talk to him. You guys see each other almost every day. If you really want to talk to him, then do it. Stop him one day and just introduce yourself to him. Then invite him over for lunch or coffee over the weekend or something.Or you could ask if he has plans for the weekend, and see if you can join him. Find what he likes to do in his past time, and if you have something in common, then do it together. Just remember that it may take a few days before he can be comfortable with you. Once you've become friends with him, then you can find out how he feels about gas and bisexuals. Then you can take it from there. If he doesn't have a problem with it, then that leaves you with an opening to tell him that you are curious, and that no one knows. Once he knows, then leave it alone. If he is also into guys, then he'll tell you. If he's not, he won't say anything. Again, once you tell him, give him time to "come out" if he's into guys. just make sure before you tell him that he can keep a secret, and see if he knows anyone from your school. I doubt it, but you have to make sure. If he doesn't know anyonefrom your school, then you won't have anything to worry about.
Aside from the boy looking at you in car situation, I'm in the same boat. I just want to know what it's like to be with someone of the same sex so I can make a judgement. But this isn't about me xD So do you know the kid or are you just strangers on a sidewalk? If you know him, great, you've already got the groundwork laid out for you. Just walk by him, say hi, start a conversation. If you don't know him, take it as an opportunity to casually build up a friendship with him and see where it takes you. I wish you the best of luck!
Walk by and meet him. If you're too nervous to say hi (which could be hard if you are only walking past one another), you could always create a favorable situation. Maybe consider carrying something on the morning that you go out to meet him and when you're about 15 feet apart, "accidentally" drop what you are carrying. This will do two things for you... First, he'll probably stop and offer to help you which will give you an opportunity to introduce yourself and strike up a quick convo. Second, if he walks by w/o saying anything, laughs in a mean-spirited way etc, then you found out what type of person he is and can move on... Just my $.02
Welcome to EC! First I'd just like to say you shouldn't feel bad at all about not being able to contribute much. Like me, you're inexperienced and that's okay, I'm sure most of the people on this site were in your shoes once. If you can do so without outing yourself or putting yourself at risk to something dangerous, see if your school has a Gay/Straight Alliance club. I'm sure plenty of the members would be more than willing to answer any questions you might have and could offer a good support network if you are gay or bi. They may also have suggestions about what to do for experimentation. If you can't find anyone who you can safely experiment on without outing yourself, or hurting them then I'd suggest ample self reflection. Experiment with what turns you on and try to figure out why you like these people and which feels the most natural and special to YOU.
Thank you for all the advice, I kinda knew I'd have to do something about my situation but wasn't sure what. You're all very helpful . As for joining a gay-straight alliance club? I go to an all boys school and homo/bisexuality is not really looked on favourable ergo no such club :/. There are a few gay guys at my school but they're not particularly popular which makes it that much harder for me. As for the boy, I know I'm going to have to do something, we looked at each other this morning and it's just eating me away, but its hard to give any signals whilst my mum is sitting right next to me. I'll wait until I go on holiday and he's still at school and walk past him and see what happens from there.
