So I was at this party Friday night. At first I was nervous as hell, because that's me. I'm very socially awkward. But I got a few drinks in me, and then I surprised the hell out of myself. I was loud, I was dancing CRAZILY, I was able to talk to anyone there, I was funny, it was fucking incredible man. And I met this girl there, who I vaguely knew from school but she's one year younger than me, and I've never really talked to her. Anyway we were dancing loads together and she seemed really into me. Here's the thing...she then asked me if I was gay, because I have come out to everyone as bisexual, so things will obviously get distorted due to rumours. Now, I could have easily said that I was bi, but I said "Hell yeah I am!". I don't know if I'm homo. I could be, for sure, but I'm still in the phase of working things out. This girl was REALLY into me, and I really liked her, but when she asked me if I was gay, I immediately replied with a very emphatic yes. Why is this? I couldn't say. But I know that after I said it she seemed pretty disappointed, although we still had fun together for the rest of the night. Could anyone help me clarify about this?
You could always blame it on the alcohol. In this case it seems pretty plausible. Did you find her attractive? Did you find any other men at the party attractive? An attractive man could have caught your attention and made the girl seem less important, making you gladly say you were guy to catch the attention of this more attractive man. I can't really say I know what's going on. I'm just a teenager trying to help. *shrug*
Sometimes alcohol lets us say or do the things we're normally keeping ourselves from doing. Sometimes it just makes us say crazy, nonsensical things. Which sounds more accurate to you, personally? I notice you've listed "gay" as your orientation in your profile. Why is that? Not trying to pry, just wondering what the impetus behind that was, as it seems like it would be relevant here.
Well my feeling is that you know you are gay since that's what you've put that in your orientation here on EC. You are more honest/thoughtful here because it's anonymous. But you've been telling people in your life you are bi. Now here you are in a situation where you are having a great time, being in the moment, pleased with yourself, pleased with everything around you. So that's why it was easy for you to proclaim your gayness...you were in such a confidence zone And that's a good thing!
Haha, I'm only 16 myself. She was very attractive, and I had a lot of fun with her. But, sexually? If I force myself to be honest, it's just not something I'm interested in with a girl, I suppose. It's hard to admit. Maybe the first one. I mean, I can look at girls and think they are very attractive, but it's hard to imagine myself with them sexually, whereas with guys it isn't. What makes it more difficult is that I prefer talking to girls, and I generally get along with them better. It fucking sucks man. I was very confident that night due to the drink. Like I said, I think I am probably gay, but it's just so hard to admit. Because, I wanna be straight, you know? I don't see anything wrong with being gay and I'd never judge anyone for it, not ever, not even in the slightest in any possible way. But, I much prefer talking to girls, hanging out with girls, sharing with girls etc. I'm not anti-guys or anything like that, I have plenty of guy friends too...it's just all so confusing.
I agree with the other comments about your leaning towards homosexuality and the alcohol. That said, in my teen experience, saying no sometimes means yes...I know some of my biggest crushes I've shirked away, been awkward, lied, etc. just from nerves (alcohol or otherwise). You know though, if you like her, you can just say you're working things out right now and would still like to go out with her or be friends (which ever you prefer) - worst case scenario you gain another friend! just be honest (honestly and confidence are attractive and/or non-romantically refreshing!)
It sounds like you had a little too much to drink and you blurted out something that you didn't mean. You still seem to be ionterested in girls so I think you're still bisexual. Now if you want to, go back to that girl and explain yourself. I'm sure she will understand. Oh and try to be sober when you do so. We don't want another accident.
