Okay, so I've known I was gay since middle school, and I've learned to accept it and embrace it. That's no problem. But around the time I learned I was gay, one of my closest friends (a girl) acquired an awkward, jerk-like guy who had a major-league crush on her. Now, this guy hung on for years (we're in high school now) and hates me with a passion, because he assumed I was straight and was gunning for the girl. Every time we met, the air was filled with quick-witted jibes and snappy insults. He hated me, and it was totally mutual. Well, recently, I went with a group of friends for a night out on the town, and he joined us. The night before, when I learned he'd be going with us, I dreamed only about him, in a very, uh, loving and intimate way. It peaked in a passionate embrace, where I buried my face in his chest and told him, "god, I love you. I love you so much." Of course I was devastated. The next night, I went weak in the knees when I saw him, and couldn't take my eyes off of him. I've started to think everything about him is cute and endearing and hot, and I'm all torn up inside. But he acts like a total stalker towards my friend, obsessive, and he hates me. And I see him so often now, and he's all I think about, and I love him (sort of) and I think he knows. Help would be of the welcome variety of things. Help, advice, anything?:icon_sad:
Sometimes a particularly vivid dream can create romantic, or even sexual feelings, for a person that we never had before; often, these will fade with time, especially if we let them. I would try to remain focused on his real-world personality - the one who's a jerk to you, and stalker-esque to your friend. What you fell in love with in your dream was a very, very idealized version of him (or maybe even just someone who looks like him). He wasn't insulting you in the dream, after all. The dream could be the result of you thinking about him, and you thinking about wanting a boyfriend, or a sexual encounter, or romance, or whatever. Lines got crossed while you slept, hence the dream. Digging for deeper "meaning" could be tricky - do you associate him with anyone else? What's the current status on your love life? Is anything major or important going on with somebody you mutually know? Just remember: real-world guy, asshole. Dream-world guy, sexy. Don't confuse dream-guy and real-world-guy. Also, welcome to the site!
The dream might just mean that some part of you doesn't want the animosity between the two of you to continue. Sex often stands in for other kinds of coming together, in dreams. It means that you want the conflict to be resolved.
Hey, guys. Thanks for the warm welcome. Glad to be a part of the site. In response to your questions, Gravity, I don't really associate this guy with anyone other than my female friend, and there's no danger if romance there. My love life is, at the moment, nonexistent. (I'm closeted but for a few people) There's really nothing going on with any mutual friends at the moment, so nothing there. And yeah, I'm trying to focus on his jerk actions, get him out of my mind, but I've seen him so many times this week, like more than ever before. He gives me this polite cold shoulder, then flings insults at me, and I respond in like. Of course, now my face goes red and I have to wear loose pants, but, if anything, it gets me even more flustered. Is it possible I enjoy the arguing? Or do I subconsciously want reconciliation? (thanks, Ianthe)
