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First crush, relationship advice!

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Callister, Mar 5, 2012.

  1. Callister

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Apr 29, 2011
    Messages:
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    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Hello everyone, it’s been I while since I came here for advice, but you all were very support when I was dealing with coming out and accepting myself, that I thought you could give me some guidance on my current situation. Over the past 6 months I have been coming out and becoming more open, even wearing a pride bracelet, something I never thought I would do!

    So I few months ago we got a new employee at work, a really nice guy, who is funny, polite, and cute and I have developed a major crush on him, actually my first crush, as I have never let myself feel this way about any guy before. So we have been dancing around each other at work, and I wasn’t sure he was gay. And two weeks ago after work, he asked if I would like to go have dinner, which I agreed to!! We had a great time, laughing and talking and getting to know each other. On the way back to his car, things got awkward, and I was freaking out that he wasn’t getting out of the car, and I said something stupid, like “the doors are unlocked you can leave if you want.”

    So after that night, and sending him a massage and waited a whole night and day for his reply I got to talk to him on the phone. We cleared some things up, and he said he was gay, and we apologized 100 times to each other, and how it ended. He talked about how he wanted our first night to be a date and that he is interested, but at the same time confused at where is life is, and dealing with the end of a long relationship. We agreed to hang out, which we did the following week.
    He went out for a causal dinner, and then drove around and found a quite spot to sit and talk. We talked for a few hours, just sitting outside in the twilight light of an old train depot. Our conversation was very deep, and personal, talking about our fears and hopes, and where we are in our lives, and some light things too. It is one of the deeps conversations I have ever had, and this was just our second time hanging out together outside of work. There were a few long salient moments, but I don’t think they were awkward, or I didn’t think they were. I was calm and collected and being with him puts me at easy, which is strange because I thought I would be a complete mess. I think he was more nervous than me, he keep looking away and around at other things, and was repeating himself, we was so cute!

    He talked about this last relationship and how it had just ended, and he still feel like they are meant to be together, but is unsure of where that is going, and how he feels. He also keeps saying that he doesn’t want to hurt me, and that he feels that he is a bad person and has messed up a previous relationship beyond all repair, and doesn’t want that to happen to us. He says that he wants to be complete honest and we both agree that that is important, and that we need to take things slow. I ask him towards the end of or second time hanging out, if this is a date or just two friends getting to know each other better. And he thinks for a minute, and says he has never liked labels and we agree to not define what we are, or what the night means.

    So we have been together at work a few times since then, and things are a little strained, and we are dancing around each other still. And like the worrier I am I have been freaking out, so I need some advice. I really like this guy, and I’m not sure how to handle all these new emotions or even have a clue how a relationship works, lol! All I know is that I want to spent more time with him, but am afraid to call or text him, and don’t want to bug him. I don’t want to rush but at the same time I want to be with him, and he is confused I think as well and I think we are both worrying over the whole work thing, as I am in a position over him. I have never even kissed anyone, so I have a lot of excitement and nervousness over even moving to stage. So any advice or support you be great!

    -Joey