Okay, so this doesn't really have anything to do with being gay, but I still need some advice. According to everyone, even my best friends, I'm extremely quiet. Not just the normal quiet, like hardly talking at all. They say I'm a good listener, which is a good thing, but I don't want to be so damn quiet either. I guess I am because I have a lot of other stuff on my mind. It may be stupid that I need advice on this, but how do I stop being so quiet?
Well I dont think there is a problem with being quiet, but if you want to change then perhaps you could make a conscious effort to start up or get involved in conversation be that 1 to 1 or in a group.
I used to be really quiet too, though it was because I had major social anxiety and still struggle with it. What my therapist told me to do was to practice, each day, trying to strike up a conversation with at least three people. It would build up new friendships while breaking me out of my shell. I'm not sure how that will pertain to you, but it's a suggestion.
I used to be extremely quiet, with days passing by without having said more than a few words. I've been in a help group for shy people and that has been quite helpful, also practising conversations a few times a day really helped (although it was really hard when I started). Now (about 5 years later) I'm a lot less quiet, although it can sometimes still be hard when meeting new people. Good luck!
I don't find anything wrong with being quiet at all. But you want advice so I suggest try talking to the people you are most comfortable with first and build from there.
I'm finding that the more I laugh during a conversation, the easier it is to be a part of the dialogue. Throwing in your own anecdotes and observations also helps. It lets who you're talking to know a little bit about yourself. That, and you'll probably find a number of people have similar stories or share interests with you. It's great to be a listener, but I've found people tend to take advantage of that and it ends up being a very one-sided conversation. Make your opinion known. If the other person refuses to give you a moment to speak, squirt them with a water bottle and say, "Bad kitty."
You have gotten some good advice so far. The one place where you can start from is probably asking yourself why you are being quite? Is it because you have nothing to say? You don't want to say the wrong thing? You don't know how to talk to people? If you can identify the "cause" of your shyness then its easier to work on it. I have personally been a very quiet and introverted individual my whole life and it all came down to me having low self-esteem. Once I worked that out it became A LOT easier to speak up and be more vocal. Granted I'm still not super comfortable talking to people in big crowds unless I'm in charge, but its all about practice
I guess it's mostly because I don't want to say the wrong thing. But working on my self esteem would probably help me a lot.
I'm also really quiet, especially around new people. But even with some of my best friends a lot of times I just won't have anything to say to them, the difference is that I am comfortable around them so I don't worry about it. On the other hand I can rant a lot about certain subjects but I rarely talk about anything unless I am really interested in it. With new people its worse because I can't think of anything to say and I am worried about what say. Both of these things combine and lead to me attempting to talk even less... which just continues a spiral of awkwardness. When ever I just try to talk about random stuff that isn't specific to my interests I end up feeling fake or I just get bored which leads me to subconciously want to leave the conversation rather than continue it. I don't have any advice lol, I wish I was super extroverted and could just throw all my thoughts into words but I can't.
I used to be quiet when I started high school but one day, I just decided to have a 360 flip in personality when I started my second year at high school. I just cut into conversations, greeted everyone with a tap on their back or a simple solid hand shake, brushed up my knowledge on topics that people mostly likely talk about (sports, music, movies, electronic gadgets, etc.) and took care of my looks (to boost self confidence). It was initially very uncomfortable for me because that wasn't how I was. However, slowly, but surely, I was molding myself into an amiable person and it worked in my favour. You should try to identify the root of your problem first. If it's a matter of not sharing common interests with most people, then make an effort to know more stuff. If you're just shy, then try NOT being shy for a change. If you're a drifter (aloft in your own thoughts usually), then get back down to earth! Being quiet isn't a virtue. Fixing it will help you in a long run. EDIT: Btw, compliments go a long way. Praising someone regarding just about anything helps to get them open up to you.
