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I gave up... Update to "he's not out"

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Iamme, Mar 5, 2012.

  1. Iamme

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    Hi all

    For those of you who were following my threads- I finally told my guy that I needed time and distance. He admitted that he was in love with me but couldn't be with me. Despite his feelings for me- he's decided to be with a girl.

    I finally couldn't take anymore and gave up. I'm sad and my heart hurts- 2 people fell in love, we're best friends, the sex is awesome, we make each other smile but he can't/won't be with me. Part of him wants a traditional family and he'll do whatever it takes for that- even if that means giving up his feelings for me. At the same time, he said " distance it has to be but i'm not ruining our friendship, i'll always still need u and count on u."

    I'm taking things one day at a time... I'm hoping he respects my wishes and doesn't contact me unless it's to update me on his and his dad's health. Some of my friends think he'll come back me to and if he does, he needs to prove himself n his love to me by getting rid of the girl and telling one family member that he has feelings for me.

    I don't see either happening, nor am I counting on it. It's been years since I've loved like this- even more than last time. He knows i love him and that part of me always will. I just understand how someone can walk away from love :frowning2: :confused::confused::icon_sad:
     
  2. sanguine

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    thats gotta suck huh?

    i think you need to consider maybe moving on?
    people need to help themselves before beginning anything, and i dont think its right if you tell him or force him to choose when it seems obvious to me that he has already chosen what he wants.

    Have you considered the thought that maybe he might not be the one for you? ever thought that maybe there would be some guy or girl out there for you? it looks like you invested alot of love into this guy also, but there is no limit to love you can give, and its never too late either, i think you should consider life without him, a life that can be happy without him.
     
  3. Iamme

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    I haven't made him choose- it's all his choice- i just don't understand running from love. There is such a strong connection between us- it's like a magnet we are just drawn to each other- even if we try to fight it- the more we do the stronger the force becomes that brings us together.

    I told him I need time and space away from him- means no contact and that hurts- we talk everyday- we make each other :slight_smile: and we just fit so well together-- but he won't or can't be with me. I'm doing what I can to cope with this loss-- it's huge and it hurts. He doesn't want to ruin the friendship but IDK that we can just be friends. I'm afraid that when I do see him again-- nothing will be different
     
  4. TheAMan

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    Oh man I'm so sorry. You know what they say. If you love something let it go. If it comes back it was yours to keep. If not it was never yours.
     
  5. Iamme

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    He's just an asshole in denial of who he really is. The girl is stupid thinking that he and i would NEVER do anything again- she has no idea he was in my bed sunday. But we just had some words and they werent good. He basically confirmed having feelings for me but bc he doesn't want a b/f it can't happen. I told him that's fine bc i won't be his 2nd choice. He really pissed me off bc he wants me to be HAPPY and UNDERSTANDING towards the girlfriend when we both damn well that we are in love but for whatever his reasons he won't/can't be with me. To me, he ran like a coward into the arms of the first girl who told him exactly what he wants to hear- so let them be happy just dont expect me to be your 'brother'