Hello there, I guess you could say I'm "unsure" or "still debating" whether or not I am gay. I really believe that I am... and I guess the signs have been there my whole life -- I just can't grasp that it has taken this long to realize I like men! I'm 17 years old and living in Palm Springs (ha) so you can assume the culture has left an impact on me. I have always had a fascination with gay men and their lifestyle (the clothes, jewelry, men, flamboyancy and cheer that most homosexual men I've come across have). I've had girlfriends before, I've "liked" girls before, and I've slept with girls before. But it seems everything I did or thought I liked about them had been phony. I knew after my last girlfriend that the smell, facial structure, and attitude of girls seems to unarrouse me. I had to fake all these feelings and emotions just to tell myself I was straight. As far as I can remember I have had this almost trance-like fascination with men that has been hidden within me since childhood. I can remember being drawn to them and craving their acceptance. "Desiring them". However, I could never see myself living that way! I am probably the straightest looking guy I know. I look much older which saddens me... (I want those boyish looks) unfortunately I look 25. Why I've come here, is because I've been researching my sexuality for a while now. I realize I no longer see women as "sexually attractive" more so I enjoy looking at their gracefulness and beauty. Whereas men mesmerize me. I didn't realize it till I noticed my Pictures folder on my computer. It is STOCKED with hundreds of shirtless men, celebrities, and models I -- for whatever reason saved. (I have been doing it without realizing it for years) I'm obsessed with classic hollywood movies, showtunes, and classic singers/actors. I thought everybody was like this but talking to some friends I realize I am the only one who acts this way. I also enjoying manicures and pedicures. I realize the type of man I'm drawn to, and I'm not sure if this is normal or the beginning of what may be my sexuality coming out. What do you guys think? Do you have any experiences like this? Is it "gay" that I drool over these gorgeous men? Paul Newman, Anthony Perkins, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin, Sean Connery, Marlon Brando, and James Dean?
Hi, and welcome to EC. You already know the answer to your question Based on what you've said above, it doesn't seem like there's much of any indication that you're straight, or even on the gay end of bi. You sound pretty gay To answer the question about why it's taken this long for you to figure it out... I know plenty of other people, myself included, who were completely clueless, sometimes into their later 20s, 30s, or 40s before they started to get an inkling. So you're ahead of the game If you still have questions, try living with it for a day. Just for 24 hours, decide you're going to identify as "gay" and see how it feels. You don't have to tell anyone... just go through your day confident in the knowledge that you're gay. And then, if you want, go through the next 24 hours confident in the knowledge you're straight. But my guess is... you will probably know by the middle of the first day. So the next question is, how does that make you feel? Are you totally OK with it? nervous? unhappy? something else? Because acknowledging is important, but so is loving and accepting that part of yourself. In any case, I hope you'll stick around EC, it's a great community that I think you'll find to be very helpful as you contemplate where you are on the continuum.
What's there to question? I mean, you're definitely not straight, if that's what you're wondering lol I'd say Chip's insight is spot on. If the shoe fits, hon ...
You don't have to be a flamboyant teen to be attractive. You don't have to live that "gay lifestyle" to meet other gay people. That's simply the tip of the iceberg everyone sees because it's the most visible and shiny part. In fact, many, many gays find more mature and masculine looks and lifestyle attractive in their partners. It really sort of parallels straight relationships, being into slim blonde party girls isn't the same as being a slim blonde party girl, and doesn't mean someone else isn't into full-figured black-haired girls who prefer libraries to nightclubs. Same principle applies here: not all gay men are attracted to similarly-looking men, or to just one type of man for that matter.
I just feel strange about the whole thing. I feel like its "straight" or perfectly normal to be fascinated with men. I just can't get my head around the fact that I am most likely gay or bisexual. It's new territory for me because I never really explored my sexuality till now. I really hope I come to terms with this and am able to embrace my inner feelings and sexuality to its fullest. This is so damn confusing!
What do you guys think of when you see an "attractive woman"? I used to think something along the lines of "shes hot, or gorgeous." But maybe I've matured, because what I think now is something like "she is cute, hot, beautiful ,thats all." Its almost like I'm not interested in pursuing anything with her/them. I'm not sure what I'm sexually attracted to more... just what I seem to be more "interested in". Is this asexual? bored? curious?
