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Does anyone else worry about this?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nemo39122, Mar 6, 2012.

  1. Nemo39122

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    Basically, I'm worried about not being taken seriously when/if I come out to people. I can just see it being sort of like "Oh, a college girl says she's bi. Ok. Riiiiight." I don't know how to get past always worrying about this, or what to do to help people not think that. I just feel like people aren't going to see it as a legitimate orientation. I need to be taken seriously. This is real, these are real feelings, this is ME.

    :bang:
     
  2. TheAMan

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    I can't say I worry about that as I worry about the exact opposite. But seeing as you're a female I understand your position. Women are usually more emotional and touchy feely than men so if you say you're bi, it makes it less believable. So if and when you come out and people don't believe you, that's ok because you have nothing to prove to these people anyway. As long as you know that you're bi, that's all that matters.
     
  3. greeneyes

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    Ahh I was just posting about this!!!!

    Exact same situation. So frustrating - bisexuality in general and also being in college and experimenting both are not taken seriously.

    Over time people start believing you. And if they don't it's their problem.
     
  4. fatalmoon91

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    I was worried about this when i came out to my friends. I kept thinking i would get a response similar to "L stop jacking around." or some nonsense. It wasn't because of where I was that i thought that would be the result though. I have a very light personality and i don't normally take things too personally so i thought my friends would assume i was joking. I worried for nothing though. when you actually think about it, people who joke around about sexuality don't normally do it by sitting someone down and telling them they are gay/bi/trans/etc.
     
  5. Nemo39122

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    Thanks for the replies :slight_smile:

    I guess the way I would tell people would help them take it seriously...but I still worry that no matter how serious about it I seem, they won't believe it. As it is now, with some people I just let them think whatever they want lol, like I don't go out of my way to talk about just guys or something. I don't know, maybe I'll continue doing that and just let them figure it out themselves :lol:
     
  6. Ichi42go

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    I am completely sympathetic. I wasn't really sure when I was coming out if I was bi or gay, but I KNEW I liked men and for that reason, I knew I was at least bi for sure, so it is what I used to come out with. Coming out to my mother, however, proved to more of a challenge to me when I tried to say "I am bisexual", she said, "no you aren't," and proceeded to tell me the feelings for men were just me being "confused" as long as I liked girls too. So, I said "Fine, if there is no bisexuality in your mind, I'm gay. I like men. There is no question." To this day, I am not sure whether or not she really believes me.


    What I learned from this, avoid the titles... If you want to make it clear you are bi, try to phrase it another way like "I am attracted to women too" and be adamant about it. It is tragic, but true, that some people are less likely to understand that coming out as bisexual is just as serious as coming out as homosexual, so for that reason, I say avoid the phrase and jump straight to the definition.

    You like both. That is your orientation. No shame. No asking for attention. No bandwagoning. You also never NEED to come out if you don't want to. All you need to do is be comfortable that that is your orientation, and if you believe that and accept it as legitimate, it really doesn't matter if those people around you take it seriously or not.

    The hardest part is admitting it to ourselves sometimes. The only one you really need support from is yourself. If others don't believe you, it is their closed mindedness inhibiting the from getting to fully know you for the awesome person I am sure you are. But, there is a lot to be said about taking yourself seriously. Be confident if/when you come out, and I think you will have no problem.