...I can't help feel like I'm looking for something to go wrong. I mean, for the majority of my life (since I've been old enough to have any amount of control), there's always been something 'bad' going on. Alcoholism, delayed school, sexuality, divorce, etc. As of now though, for the first time in a long time, I'm really content with my life. Not necessarily super happy, but things are going well. I can't shake the feeling that something's missing, just because nothing is explicitly wrong. Anyone got ideas on how to get past this? Thanks, as always!
Hi there! My first thought: Try to enjoy your life for a change without worrying what might or could go wrong. You have every reason to enjoy things. You have come out to your room mate, and are now able to be out on campus. You have an opportunity to be yourself. You have dealt with a lot of things already. My second thought is that the feeling of 'missing something' is perhaps coming from the fact that you never had the opportunity so far to really enjoy things, or perhaps experience your life the way you are experiencing it at the moment. Perhaps there is a part of you that wants more, or at least wants to keep going in the direction in which you are heading at the moment. If you are content with your life, try to build on that, by continuing to make happens for you. If there is something that you think you can improve upon, start with that. I think the best advice I can give you is to say: keep doing what you are doing, and if you come across something where you feel you can improve upon, work on it.
Fair enough. My mom always said it growing up, and I kinda believed it (but probably repressed it), but I pretty much lost any 'fun' aspect to my teen years because of my dad's alcoholism. What you said makes sense, so I guess I'll just keep enjoying whatever I can... maybe the feeling will shake eventually. Thanks
In line with this, it sounds as if you've gotten somewhat comfortable with being unhappy, as weird (or not) as it may be. Getting over that sense can be a long process, but it's probably going to be an intentional one as well - unless you commit yourself to enjoying what's in front of you, you'll have trouble getting to that place. I can sympathize though, as I've been in similar situations. Just keep focusing on everything you have now, and how much you wanted it.
