I know a few people have been speaking about doing this, so I figured I would talk about my experience. I sent him an email a few days ago explaining that I was gay and that I wanted to speak with him about it, he agreed and we met today for lunch. We started speaking about my schooling and what we had done that week and it was a nice conversation. Soon after he asked me how I was doing spiritually and I gave him my recent life story. I told him about all of my studying and praying and how I have accepted who I am, a gay Christian. He sat and listened to me speak throwing in a few words now and again but never to speak over me. When I quoted certain verses and gave my interpretations he would say, "That's interesting," or "I never looked at it that way." It was a little disconcerting that there was no strong input one way or the other from him but he then said that he has what he has always been taught but will do plenty of research before speaking again with me. I know there are plenty of religious people on this site who are afraid to speak with their priest, pastor or what-have-you. I know my experience might be in the minority but you never know how they will react. It is a good experience then great, you now have another person to talk to. If it goes poorly, good now you can begin your search to find a place of worship that will embrace you right on back. Don't let the stereotypes of religion scare you further into your closet. This is your life and you need to do whatever helps you prosper, including having the freedom to worship. Please let me know if you have any questions.
That's awesome that you were not only comfortable speaking with him, but that he was willing to listen.
Very brave of you, I think! I know personally I would have a very hard time doing that, as my church community has made their stance on homosexuality being against their belief system pretty clear.
This is awesome (it's so great to have a dialogue with someone who is willing to change their minds for you) - it sounds like you came at it the right way...using the language of the other person to communicate is such a win.
This is good to hear. I'm glad that there are pastors out there that are willing to change their viewpoints. It's also good that he was respectful of your viewpoint and did not try to argue with you.
That's such an inspiring story! And that's the first time I've heard of a pastor who's so open-minded about these things! Let us know how it goes!
Dapperdan, he has made made sermons mentioning homosexuality in a negative way. He was in fact willing to listen to my story and say he would do his own research and pray about it. Now I am not saying he will change his opinion or that he will accept my sexuality with open arms, but any step forward will be great. He also told me he doesn't want to know me as just being gay, but rather as Jacob. Today is a great day and I hope that anyone else who is LGBT and religious will realise that not everyone is out to get you. For everyone else who gave me encouraging words, thank you so much. I really do love you guys and take your words to heart.
Wow is all I can say! I am extraordinarily jealous of your experience with your pastor. I am a bisexual Catholic, and I've been subjected to the harsh words that are so fervently spoken out against any kind of homosexuality. It's made me loathe my church, and it's become a very unhealthy environment for me. I would not have the courage to say anything to any priest. I am genuinely happy for you, however, in your positive experience.
You know, the pastors who truly get the *real* message of scripture listen, don't judge, and try to be open. And the ones who are truly living and thinking in the 21st century also know that LGBT people are a fact of life and need to be accepted as such. I think individual pastors, in one-on-one meetings, are probably having these sorts of conversations quite a bit more often than many of them would admit, and certainly more than the head honchos of the various religions would condone. It's just going to take a massive shift for some of these organizations to shift their viewpoint... but that won't stop the people doing the one-on-one meetings from realizing that what the "head guy" is telling them to do doesn't work. Congrats on taking the steps to have the conversation, and you sound like at least you've got someone who is willing to listen and think.
For the longest time I thought I would be expodited from my church because of this, which is why I put it off so long. The last church I went to was verbally violent against me I couldn't even imagine saying anything. Now I am thinking about going and speaking with him directly about it. I can only explain it as a higher power showing me what to do, but I want to try and get a bad response from a religious leader just to help others. Hurt feelings will pass but helping one person through their struggle will be more rewarding than anything else on this earth. I am going to send an email now. I will let you guys know of the results later.
I'm not to sure if coming out to your pastor, priest, or so on is that good of an idea. When the priest of my church found out, he condemned me to hell and banned me from the church. Nice guy if you ask me(sarcasm)
^^ This happened to me too. I think that it is a good idea to come out to your pastor when you are ready. You have to be ready for both possible outcomes. I know that when I came out to my pastor, I was fully aware that I was going to be thrown out. This is very much one of those situations that you can hope for the best and prepare for the worst. (P.S. I'm not at all saying that all pastors or religious leaders are going to immediately throw people out. I'm just saying that you have to be ready for both outcomes. I know some churches are open to homosexuality. I'm just speaking from my experience.)
I'm Catholic, and I just left Courage (for gay Catholics who use a 12 step program to stay celibate and many of whom are trying to use various therapies to become straight). I told my pastor that I struggle with same sex attraction a little over a year ago, and his advice was to not be ashamed, but to not tell people about it and to never act out on it. Now I've decided that I want to meet other gay people, I've started telling a few people at my parish who have been very supportive (you can kind of tell who will be supportive and who won't, at least in my parish), and I'm working at self-acceptance. But I will never mention the topic with my pastor again, and I will very probably never bring it up with any other priest. Still, just because some aren't supportive - others are, and I refuse to leave my parish if I don't have to. Plus if I did leave my parish, I might never get to see the most beautiful woman alive ever again.
