Hi I have been thinking a lot recently, been isolating myself and having some deep thoughts about my current relationship with my boyfriend. We've been currently been going out for 7 months, yet in these past 2 months I have been hurt quite a lot and let down a few times to the point I couldn't look him in the face for a day. (Went on dating website without me knowing that he used for casual sex before we met, Told me long ago a drunk girl kissed him by force - found out he kissed her and other small things like being ditched for parties etc.) I don't want to break up with him, I just think I need some time to get over this and maybe he can think what he truly wants too. We see each other every single day and I suppose after a while we can get on each others nerves, so I thought about suggesting taking a break maybe for a week or so but I don't want him to think I want to break up with him. Any help would be greatly appreciated! Thank you for any support !
Not to be harsh, but...he's going on dating sites that you know he uses for casual sex, he's lying to you about kissing this girl, and he ditches you to go party by himself...so why don't you want to break up with him? I really don't mean to be cruel or invade your business, but since you posted, I'm thinking that some serious re-evaluation time is in order, as you've already suggested. As far as how to tell him - are you worried that if you tell him wrong he'll break up with you? If that's on his mind already, it probably won't matter how you tell him, and if he wants to be with you, it similarly won't matter - he'll be committed to making it work. In any case, I would suggest being very clear about your expectations and your values. You want some time to yourself, and you want to continue seeing him, but you think a week apart could be very good for both of you, and after that point you can get together and talk about what you want out of the relationship. Or something like that. Good luck! I really hope it works out for you. (*hug*)
Perhaps you need to talk to him and tell him exactly how you feel and that you feel like you need to take time to evaluate what is going on between you too and make sure if it is right for you. Dont be to hasty, and remember to always come from a place of love, even if things come out to be the worst, you can always come from love. And also, dont be to harsh on yourself. The fact that you have doubts means your human, and by the sounds of it, they are all very legitimate concerns, and things that I dont know that I would put up with myself. Perhaps you just need to see what things are like alone for a while. You are worthy of respect, love (whole hearted love), kindness, honesty, and partnership. Dont forget that.
Thank you both I do love him, even if he does make mistakes but I am constantly finding myself more upset by him recently that I have before so I think its time for some time to reflect ... ill update if anything happens haha
what's a break for a week going to do? ok, so you dont talk to him for 7 days, do you expect that in that 7 days everythign will be washed away and you will feel as right as rain? no. in 7 days, you will push things down inside far enough and "get over them" in your mind so you can still be with hiim but whatever he is doing to make you want to take a break will still be there so ulimately nothing is going to change. the week break thing is avoidance. what you really need to do is sit down with him and talk about the issues at hand, why you are feeling bad, and how you two can fix things. that woudl be a proactive tactic. but simply saying "lets going on a break for a week" without trying to work things out or explaining why you need the break is passive aggressive behavior. confront the dude, tell him what's up, see what you guys can fix, see if there are issues with you on his side, make a resolution to work towards fixing the problems and move on. personally the kid sounds like a cheater and liar to me, so i would want a permanent break from him, but if you want to work things out, be direct and handle it upfront
This. This. This. I never understood the "break" thing myself as it does seem like a huge dose of avoidance. I agree with insidehappy that you need to talk things out with him and get your issues worked out. To be honest, he sounds like a jerk and probably doesn't deserve you.
