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Fear of Giving Speeches

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Nodnarb, Dec 31, 2007.

  1. Nodnarb

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    First, thanks to Becky for her thread about a speech, which reminded me about a thread I had been meaning to make.

    So, heres the question: Do you have any advice for speech giving, especially in front of large groups?

    Right now, it appears I am on track to finish #1 in my class(yay me!), and doing that would require giving a speech at graduation. I took communications class(which is basically a speech class)last year, and that was a HUGE help. At the start, I was the most nervous person in the class. I'd get up and be shaking and my voice sounded strange and I talked too fast and figited with my hands(sorry for all the "and"s in that sentance). But we have an amazing teacher for that class, and by the end of the year I wasn't nervous at all. I felt really proud of myself and was so happy I had gotten over that fear.

    But a few months ago, I found out that I was #1 out of 168 in my class. At first I was excited, but then somebody brought up the graduation speech, and I realized that I was not ready to step onto that stage at the center of Ram Memorial Field, face the crowd of 1,000 people, and deliver a five minute speech without passing out from my fear.

    I realize that its a year away, and there is no garuntee that I will still be #1 at the end of senior year, but its something that has been bugging me. If it was in front of, lets say 20 people, I wouldn't mind, but I've never done ANYTHING in front of 1,000 people. And, even if I don't have to give a speech at graduation, I figure its good to be able to give a speech in front of a large audience anyways.


    Not that this part really pertains to the main topic, but I had an idea of what I could talk about in my speech, assuming I come out to everyone by that time. I could talk about being bi, and all the struggles I have had with my sexuality over the years, and the discrimination that people who aren't 'normal' face. It would surely be memorable and make all the parents in what is a VERY religious conservitive town squirm in their seats, and hopefully open their eyes up to the truth they refuse to accept.
     
  2. Paul_UK

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    Have a look at what I wrote in posts #13 and #17 of Becky's thread.

    Rehearse it. Read it out loud to yourself a few times. If you run into any parts that don't flow, where you run out of breath or trip over words then tweak it. Short sentences are often best.

    Use a clear font that is easy to read. Maybe a bit bigger than usual even if it takes more pages. If you need to emphasize certain words, underline, bold or italic them to remind you. If you need to pause for effect add some........ to remind you. You will probably find adding more commas than usual helps too.

    Break it into lots of paragraphs (and perhaps even number them) so you don't lose your place. You need to be able to look up at your audience then back at the page without forgetting where you were.

    I don't think it applies in this case but if you are using anything to aid the speech such as a PowerPointless presentation or objects to hold up, use these when you are rehearsing. These can distract and cause you to lose your place, so mark the appropriate places on your page.

    Really it is about preparation. If you have run through it a few times at home you will be much less likely to mess it up when doing it for real, you will sound more natural and less like you are reading it, and you will be more confident.

    And if you do mess up just apologise quickly and carry on. Don't let a little slip-up knock you back. Even newsreaders make mistakes occasionally (unless it is pre-recorded in which case you just don't know about it).

    Good luck!
     
  3. Nodnarb

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    Yeah...in speech class I never really prepared beforehand eventhough our teacher always told us to....

    Thanks for the advice Paul!
     
  4. Paul_UK

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    As I said in Becky's thread, this is from experience of doing presentations in front of groups of people at a previous job. I hated doing them but found that being prepared and rehearsing helped a lot.
     
  5. Ty

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    Im quite lucky in this department, Im very confident in large groups and am quite charismatic infront of large groups. And I can always turn it into a joke if i make a mistake.
     
  6. sdc91

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    I've given large speeches before. For some reason, it's harder for me to give a speech in a small group rather than a whole audience. It might be because since the group is smaller, I'll actually end up knowing the people instead of never seeing them again.

    Anyway, rehearse the speech a few times, and just focus on the speech and not everybody out there.

    Don't imagine everyone in their underwear, that's crap advice. lol
     
  7. Nodnarb

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    ^Yeah, I figured. There were like three guys in that class I liked, so I decided that I might get distracted if I tried to do that:icon_wink And with a large audience, I just don't think it would work....
     
  8. s5m1

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    All of the above posts are good advice. Sometimes, I find that a speech to a very large group is easier than to a smaller one. When on a stage with bright lights in a large auditorium, you will likely not be able to see that many people. In some ways, it is almost as if you are talking to yourself. Preparation will allow you to go in with more confidence. And, remember that only you know what is written down. If you make a mistake, don't worry about it. Many times no one but you will know. And, if you do make a mistake and people notice, so what? Nobody will be bothered by it and nothing bad will happen. Remember that you may have the honor of giving this speech because of your hard work and accomplishments. Everyone watching you knows what you have achieved and how hard it was. They will be admiring you for that, not worrying about whether you fumbled a word or two.

    Whether you actually finish first or not, congratulations for your current standing! It is a great achievement, and you should be very proud!
     
  9. Nodnarb

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  10. Lava421

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    I remember one of my teachers telling my class about some inappropriate graduation speech. I forgot what the speech addressed, but it was irrelevant for the occasion. Even the parents who agreed with the speech's message were upset by it because it was given in the wrong setting.

    In other words, I'm wondering if talking about your bisexuality would be appropriate. Maybe you could make it work; I don't know. I'm unfamiliar with exactly what's said in these graduation speeches.
     
  11. Nodnarb

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    Normally they are given by two people(guy and girl)and its kind of reflecting back on their time in school and what they went through. They usually talk about their best and worst moments, and try to put them in a humorous tone.

    I don't know if it would work, it was just something I had thought of. I'm not sure what teacher is in charge of preparing students for graduation speeches, but if it is the one I think it is, he would not allow me to do that. (he goes off on religious rants in his class that make me want to get up and walk out because they're so bigoted and ignorant)

    But, like I said, its a long ways away. And I seriously doubt I will have completely come out by then anyways....
     
  12. Paul_UK

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    He couldn't do anything if you changed your speech a bit at the last minute though, could he.... :wink:
     
  13. Cheese Love

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    Ha, I'm actually on the speech team but I still get nervous. Over time, I'm finding that the more nervous you are the faster you start talking. Deap breaths always help, but it also helps to speak very slowly. In your head, it may seem so painstakingly slow, but it sounds very normal.