I'm in high school, and I've recently come to terms with the fact that yes, I am happily interested in both boys and girls. I have a crush on a girl in my class, and I have for a while. She has a beautiful personality and is one of the most unique, genuine people I know. And when I heard that she too identified as bisexual, my hopes perked. However, I have no idea how to go about these feelings I have towards her. We are good friends, and we share a close social group. I'm normally the type of girl who just goes after what she wants when she sees someone she likes-I'm extraordinarily straightforward, but this situation is more complicated. I do not want things to become awkward between my friends, and losing her would be awful. I think that would ruin me and the emotional state that I'm in due to family problems and recently moving to this new school. I need advice on how to address this situation, or how to get rid of these feelings of infatuation. Be gentle, I'm new at this. Thank you
Are you asking how to go about talking to this person about your feelings, or how to not feel for this person? Regardless, you should never come across as disingenuous, perhaps consider talking to this person and saying "Hey I think I have feelings for you as more then a friend, but I dont want to jeopardize my relationship with you, or out other friends with those feelings. What do you think?" obviously dont put things that bluntly, but you get the jest.
Well, first of all, I'm not entirely sure of what I'm asking specifically-it's all advice I need right now. A huge part of me wants to be able to express these feelings, while another knows that there could be huge consequences and wishes not to feel anything romantic towards her at all. Are you, in a way, advising that I just go for it and be straightforward with her?
I am saying, come clean with her. Im not saying you have to try anything romantic, but be honest with her. Tell her about the feeling you are having, and express how you dont want those feelings for her to have "consequences" as you said, and assure her that you would like to preserve the status you have with your friends as "not-completely-out" if she could, and also that you do not want to impose on your friendship with her, or anyone else because of your feelings. Depending on what she says back is dependent on where you go from there.
I agree with everything TyRawr just said. BECAUSE you're close, this is going to be on your mind and hard to escape from. Best to be honest and do it now and spare yourself some pain. Though I would just double check whether she identifies as bisexual. I've made that mistake and I realized after telling her I wasn't really ready to tell her when I found out she was straight.
