So today I had a interesting experience. First let's rewind to last weekend: I told my best friends parents that I was gay. I told them because they are like my second set of parents. We have been best friends for 11 years, and he was the second person I told, but it was him I told the most. Well, he nudged me on to get it off my chest and tell his parents as well, and I did. They were very accepting, and told me how they have 3 relatives who are also gay, and that they understand how hard it is, and that nothing changes between us. My friends mom is also going to school for becoming a psychologist, so obviously she wanted to get into detail. She asked if I was sure this is what I wanted, and what my feelings were to each gender and whatnot, and she was sure that I was sure. Then she asked if I have told my mom, and I told her I haven't and don;t plan to. She told me that I seemed uptight and that I need to tell her soon, and I was prepared to do that. Well this morning I woke up and they were looking at some cars on craigslist since her and her boyfriend need a 2nd car. She pulled up a Ford Escape, which is one of my (gay) best friends favorite car. I told her if she got one in light green that my friend would want to steal it from her since he wants one really bad. She looked at me and said, "Can I tell you something?" Me: "Yeah" Mom: "Well.... nevermind." Me: "What?! You can't say you want to say something and then not say it." Mom: "Ok. Well... I had this dream that we were talking about (my friend) and I asked you if you were in a relationship with him, and you said yeah. I asked you if you were gay and you said you were, and I had asked you how long you've known you were gay. It was a nightmare!" Me: *poker face* "Oh. Well then..." Mom: "It was terrible!" Then I mumbled something and left the room and went downstairs and called my friends mom and talked to her about it. Now, I don't know if those were the exact words she said, but it was along those lines. I do know she used the words 'nightmare' and 'terrible'. I was even going to think about coming out to her this weekend, but now I feel like I've been pushed so far back into the closet and never want to tell her. This friend of mine is really close to me, and I have another thread about me wanting a relationship with him, and how I decided to come out to him. He's gay, and my mom knows that. When she knew, she said she didn't really approve of that lifestyle, but I didn't know she was the closed minded about it. I don't know what to do. :tears:
Try to calm yourself down. Your mother must've just been overreacting to a dream - there is a good chance she would respond otherwise if you told her in real life. Your mother loves you, just remember that.
I don't know, my mom is a pretty open person sometimes, and I feel that if she were to be more accepting of the whole gay situation, she would say something more along the lines of "Even if you were, I'd accept you", not so much "It was a nightmare! It was terrible!" To me, if it was horrible and terrible in your dream, then its going to be horrible and terrible in real life. Hence why I don't know if I can ever tell her now. :/
You can always play around with it. Mention to her sometime that your gay best friend's parents were talking about how they were so proud of him/her for feeling open enough to talk to them and see what she says. Or, say something like "I just read an article that a gay man was murdered and they suspect his parents!" Not that I really approve of lying... But you get what I mean
"You can always play around with it. Mention to her sometime that your gay best friend's parents were talking about how they were so proud of him/her for feeling open enough to talk to them and see what she says." Well, his parents are very very anti-gay, but I understand what you're saying. Just pointing it out. I have this feeling she knows, or has assumptions, and wanted to find out if they were right. They always say a mother knows her children, so.... I wish I could get the courage to talk to her about it. I just don't want anything to change. :icon_sad:
I don't know to many parents who want a gay child. I'm sure many of the people on here, myself included, it was horrible to the parent when they found out. Its the parents love for the child that changes that. If your mother loves you she will accept you, and though she may dislike it, and not accept it, will accept you. I don't know your mother though, and it is your call on whether or not she loves you enough to put it behind her. Though, I would like to think that most parents love there child no matter what.
