1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Update

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by nycbiguy, Mar 12, 2012.

  1. nycbiguy

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2012
    Messages:
    42
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Sexual Orientation:
    Bisexual
    Out Status:
    Not out at all
    Sup everyone. Just thought I'd post a little update about situation.

    Quick recap for new readers - I met a guy thru cl back in November. We're both Very masc, bi, and closeted. Initially I was looking for someone to hook up with in his area since I ocassionally travel there for work. He responded and we hit it off immediately. His ex recently had his kid, but so far things haven't changed with us. This is the first dude/dude relationship for both of us so we're learning as we go... Also, he's six yrs younger than me at 22.

    So things with my guy are good right now. He spent the night on Saturday and we had so much fun. He came really late and we stayed up till about 5 am.We had a really great sex sesh haha. Def our best. I know that he's not completely comfortable being a bottom, but he really got into this time. He was telling me he loved during sex which is such a turn on. On Sunday we went to brunch Before he left. Whenever we hang out In public we joke that ppl "know" bc of the way we smile/look at each other haha.

    Last night he texted me when he got home saying that it hit him how much he misses and loves me. He even contemplated driving back 2 hrs to spend the night. He also told me that he wishes he waited to have a kid. I told him that everything happens for a reason and that if we really want to be together we will make it work. He agreed and asked if he could stay a week during the summer and look for a job so he can move here, as "roommates" lol.

    I told him that theres a song i keep hearing and it makes me think of him.(Miguel -adorn u haha mad lame, I know) I was a little nervous to show him my soft side since he's always emphasizing how masc I am, but he seemed pleasantly surprised and touched when I told him. He's totally unassuming and masc but I love when he's mushy w me haha. I'm still getting used to showing that side, ESP w a guy... All in all I'm Happy how things are progressing...just dont want to jinx it haha

    Btw anyone know why every time I post on my iPad the screen closes automatically, before I'm done typing????

    ---------- Post added 12th Mar 2012 at 09:13 AM ----------

    Also, just wanted to point out that it is possible to have a closeted dl relationship. Of course idk if this will last forever, and there are definite challenges, but isn't that the same with any other relationship? I've come across quite a few EC posters who strongly believe that the only way to have a fulfilling same sex relationship is to be out. Wrong. I do agree, though, that it doesn't work between someone who is out and someone with no intentions on ever coming out.
     
  2. CrazyAntFarm

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2011
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    You're absolutely right. It is to have a closeted relationship as I am in sorta in one myself. I say sorta because we both have friends who know, and I recently also told my pops, but we're generally not out to anyone else.

    It can work; it just takes some understanding from both partners. For the most part, I believe that fulfillment is subjective anyway. You may be completely fulfilled in your relationship as it is now. Others view fulfillment as being able to show affection in public without fear. Everyone is different, so don't worry about it. All that matters is that you're both happy.

    I'm glad things are working out for you, btw. I remember your other post where you had some concerns. It looks like you had nothing to worry about... :thumbsup:
     
  3. TLM12512

    Regular Member

    Joined:
    Feb 18, 2012
    Messages:
    10
    Likes Received:
    0
    Gender:
    Male
    Bro, i was real happy to read this, and to know its possible, im really happy for you, i wish i could hurry up and meet someone tho lol
     
  4. greeneyes

    Full Member

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2011
    Messages:
    258
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    NY
    This is wonderful. Congrats!
     
  5. Chip

    Board Member Admin Team Advisor Full Member

    Joined:
    May 9, 2008
    Messages:
    16,551
    Likes Received:
    4,750
    Location:
    northern CA
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    This is really nice to hear. Congrats to both of you! I think when people were saying it's difficult to have a relationship when one is closeted, they were talking about finding someone, and the difficulties in negotiating things like Christmas parties at work and activities with friends that people normally do as a couple. But certainly it can work.

    I do think that at some point, you'll both be much happier coming out, but there's certainly no rush to do that.