saw a guy i was really interested in but i froze.....

i was at a party and i saw this guy that i thought was really awesome. it was a straight party and he was standing on the wall by himself. i thought he smiled at me so i smiled back and we looked at each other across the room but everytime i looked at him, he would look away like he didn't see me. i couldn't tell if that first smile was because he was smiling at me or the people dancing in front of me. he was standing by the dancefloor and he looked masculine.

there were a lot of people around and i was with a guy i knew (straight) i didnt want to make things uncomfortable for the guy i was interested in or myself.

anyway, i wanted to go up to talk to him but honestly there really wasn't a way to do it without me seeing like i was hitting on him because the place was small and i he saw me lookign at him but again he would divert eye contact so i wasn't sure. i wasn't shy about looking at him or smiling. every time i did he would look away but he would look back later to see if i was still standing there and looking and I was. I was doing other things as well but i definitely let him know i was looking at him on 3-4 occassions. i guess i was waiting for a smile or an invitation to come over (with teh eyes or smile or something) but it didnt happen.

i just did not have any conversation topics to drum up. i guess i could have said, "hey they are really dancing out there" but i mean, i just froze up because i was very attracted to him and just did not want to get rejected by a straight guy. been there done that.

also he was with another guy that was dancing with girls so i couldnt' tell if the other guy was gay or not. if he would have kept smiling or given me some kinda of eye contact that seemed inviting i would have gone over adn talked to him but he didnt'. he did not leave the area he was standing and never talked to one other person except his friend. he did not dance with any girls or talk to any girls. but i dont blame him, because the pickings were slim.

i have never seen him befoer and doubt i'd see him again because i did not knwo anyone at the party really so have no clue as to who is was or how to did in touch.

but if this situation comes up again with someone else, what is the best way to "make a move" but do so in a way that doesnt come off so gay. safety is a big concern because if you hit up on teh wrong guy, it could be a fight or it could be trouble.

he was really the kinda guy i would have liked to talked to or get to know. i saw him look at me a couple of times but it was always with a blank look (not the gay i want you stare). when i left i kept looking back to see if he was watching me leave but he did not. i guess he was straight. i do know that when i first came in, i didn't see him and i was standing against a column and i looked up and i noticed him and he must have been looking my way because he noticed me and our eyes locked and in my head i thought.."wow, that's someone i would definitely like to talk to" and then he looked away.

i'm having a very hard time finding guys like the one i saw at the party in the gay community. the problem is that many guys in some races/ethniciites wehre its really hard to be gay adn the community doesn't support it, do not go to gay events and are not "out" as gay. so its harder to find types of guys that you may be interested in because many of them are in hiding.

any advice on the best way to have handled that situations at the party. i know it probably involves me coming up to him but it was really hard to do because i wasn't really getting the non verbal cues that it was ok. maybe he was bi/gay and closeted. maybe i was wishful thinking but if i was wrong it could have been kinda bad. any advice...

 

thanks guys. i appreciate it. i wasn't sure. like you said, he was not giving me any good signs back so it was good that played it like that i guess.

i guess if someone is interested in you they would let you know in some way or form. doesn't mean they aren't gay but may not be in a place mentally to be open to that. also, he may not have been into me even if he was gay. idk.

---------- Post added 12th Mar 2012 at 05:40 PM ----------

in this scenario he was wih a guy that was his friend i guess. the other guy was social and danced and talked to other people and would link back up with the guy i was checking so he already kinda had someone to hang with. i guess its kinda one of those things that you have to go on your gut feeling about. and my gut told me that he wasn't really showing any clear signs so i should leave that alone.