So I'm trans and my therapist introduced me to a trans woman that used to be a client of her's. Had a meeting planned at the office, met her, talked to her and asked her questions and haven't heard from her for a month or two. The same therapist also thought it would be good for me to meet another past client of her's since we have a lot in common. We get along well and have hung out a few times. The last time we hung out she was talking about her roommate who had just moved out and how this girl had also been her girlfriend prior to their moving in together. There were a lot of things that were said about this girl that it makes it hard for me to believe that her girlfriend was not the trans woman I met a few months ago. Can I ethically ask if her old roommate/gf is the trans woman I met or even just ask, "is your old gf's name Jane doe"? It's awkward for me because I don't know how much confidentiality I owe to the transwoman I had given how we met and what responsibilities I have to my friend to be honest with her when she talks about her old gf/roommate. And my curiosity is killing me.
I'd say you could ask. I don't see the harm. Both people essentially waived their privacy when they agreed to meet you. Their relationship with their therapist is still private but not necessarily with you.
