Well, as most of us probably do, we have Facebook / Myspace etc. My question is whether it's worth coming out to them privately or them finding out via my Facebook when I'm publicly out?
I would tell them one on one, it might change their perspective, but they'll probably be upset if they hear it from someone else.
Really depends how close you are. It sounds like you're resolute on them finding out one way or another. If they’re people you’re very close to, then explaining it in person will probably be for the best, but if you would feel genuinely uncomfortable talking about it with them, let them hear through others. If they have a problem they’ll initiate the contact, which overall may be better than trying to tell someone something they don’t want to hear, and may react badly to. Good luck.
I have always decided not to come out to a homophobic friend or roommate if they are a threat to my safety. When I did come out to my anti gay friends which was online or by test I would see their reaction and if it is sarcastic or rude I would block to make sure they are not gonna do something crazy like write on my wall which would be complete nightmare. Some people know I am gay on facebook and luckily they respect my feelings on being outed and keep it private. I had the most homophobic roommate in college and I will simply describe him as a evangelical republican eagle scout. I took him out of my life after i left college and never spoke to him again. Im proud of it. If you feel it is necessary to come out to these friends do it but do it in a safe way where you will not be outed or embarrassed. No one wants to be outed by someone else. I told my close college friends about me being gay and how I felt about my roommate after college and most of them accept as a gay person. So it depends on the situation and if the person is a risk to your safety.
i totally agree about the safety risk: would the particular person cause harm to you? personally, when i know someone with homophobic issues (and i know them well enough to know they won't hurt me), i prefer them to know i'm a homo. i think in a way it's good for them to feel uncomfortable around me and try to figure out why they have a problem. sometimes it does change their perspective, or can at least train them not to say homophobic things out loud.
