On Monday I went to see a counselor for the first time in my life. Basically all that happened was me telling him about all of my issues, him asking some questions about those issues, and offering only a few words of advice before the time ran out. Unfortunately, the advice was only really supporting things I've already been doing (exercising, having supportive friends). I decided to make another appointment anyways, but it's not til the end of March since they like to schedule clients every other week. So, besides asking the counselor for more advice on things that might help in coping with depression and being more positive, are there any other things that I might specifically ask to get more out of counseling? Are there certain methods for self-help that you EC'ers know about that the counselor could point me towards? Was my first experience with counseling typical? On a side note, it drove me nuts that of all the counselors I could have gotten for my first time, it had to be a really cute guy that confused my gaydar? Dammit!
Disclaimer: I'm going to speak from personal experience, and this may not be typical for everyone. With my therapist, she just let me talk for the first few sessions, and when she got to know me a little, she started offering advice that might work for me. As for self help, try journaling (on the computer or the old fashioned way) about what you feel. It may be hard at first, but I find if i am starting to get upset, angry, sad, or mad, getting my thoughts down on paper can help me figure out what the cause is, and what are the possible solutions to the problem are. If I am happy, excited, or had a positive interaction, I write it down so I can look back and have something concrete to look at to help me see I'm not a total failure. As for what to ask your therapist, ask how much experience he has with the LGBT community. If he doesn't have much experience, see if you can switch to one who does. Let him know what you expect from therapy, and see if he can meet those needs.
The key factor is to be as open and honest as possible. A lot of people won't tell their therapist how bad things really are for fear of looking bad to their therapist. This makes them harder to treat.
I think honestly that it is pretty typical for them not to give too much advice at first. I personally am more comfortable if they just let me talk at first because really that is why I go. I had one once who was a little too pushy with advice too quickly and it made me uncomfortable. Therapists are people too and they are all a little different. Haha. I would say give it some time. Say everything that comes to your mind so that he/she has a better understanding of where you are and will be able to give advice.
Well, here are some general advice: 1. Keeping your heart rate up helps to release endorphines (happy hormones). In simpler terms, exercising helps to reduce depression. You have to keep your heart rate up for at least 45 min though. 3 times a weeks. Do some cardio. 2. Balanced diet. Increase your protein intake. It helps also. I don't remember the biology behind it. 3. Do some stress relief exercise like a hobby or something. 4. If your depression is coming from several sources, compartmentalize them and shelve what you don't have to deal with immediately (ie. forget about it). Face it one at a time. 5. Maintain a healthy social network. This is rather obvious. 6. Do some self-reflection. Ask yourself why you're having those issues and how you can get around it. Make a list if you have to. I can't think of any more that I can add for now. Hope this helps.
Honesty. Agreed. Also, I don't think you will properly know after the first session. Also I find that the more regularly I go (like not canceling and postponing) the more helpful it is. That said if you get a bad vibe or get uncomfortable say it.
