Needing some advice

There are LGBT friendly therapists, in fact there are LGBT therapists. I am not sure how old you are, but if you are under 25 all kinds of wacky brain chemistry is going on, and swings happen. I know that probably doesn't help much, knowing that others go through this too. However, there are also medications that can help enormously. That first step in getting help can be scarey, but once you make it you are on the road to feeling better. Trust me, I have been there too.

You decide whether or not to come out to your therapist/prescribing DR. You can do it slowly, by feeling out how they might respond. Or just find an LGBT therapist. The only thing I have heard against coming out to Dr's is that it may end up on your medical records, and companies (read: employers) that offer health insurance may be able to have access to these records once they pay for your health insurance. I know, Dr patient confidentiality, but in this day and age, corporations have a lot of power and access to information - including your facebook profile, which I hear goes for about $20, and doesn't require your consent!

 

Honey, the first step is admitting you need help, and you came here and asked for it. Congrats on taking that step! I am proud of you :icon_bigg.

I have a history of cutting myself, so I can understand some of what you are going through. I initially didn't want to go and get help, but now I'm glad I did, so I can get better. I've been in therapy weekly for about 8 months, and my therapist says I'm doing well enough to go down to bi-weekly appointments, so for me therapy has been working.

I would seriously suggest going to see your doctor to clue them in. They can then refer you to the appropriate servies, which will probably include a psychologist. Make sure that they are a clinical psychologist with a PhD.

Although I don't have a PhD after my name, it seems like you have depression symptoms, possibly with some cycling involved. Since you say that life is getting harder to deal with, I suggest going to see your doctor ASAP so it doesn't spiral downward any further. Get help now from a professional please.

P.S. sorry if this is kind of ramble-y, it's past my bed time :icon_sad:. I'll check back in today or tomorrow to check on you and see if you need anymore help.

 

For me, therapy in conjunction with meds has helped me with these problems. While you may not need medication, therapy will help provide you coping mechinisms and find triggers that can send you into the "dark place" where you want to do something like cut. I understand you are scared and don't want the problems. Neither do I. But, with the help of friends, doctors, and family I am managing day by day to get through the rough patches.

I really do suggest you go see a doctor and get a support network in place so you can focus on yourself and get where you need to be, without feeling so alone. Also, come to EC as much as you need. If you are at your breaking point, make a new thread here, message the staff, message me (if you're full member), call a help line, something. If worst comes to worst, go to a hospital and check yourself in and let them know what's going on. We do care about you here at EC, and want to see you succeed :icon_bigg

 

Okay... I creeped your posts. But feel an urge to respond.
You dealt with your urges very well tonight I find... Driving around and also crying, those are both great things to do instead of self-harming. Never feel guilty for doing either.
I have heard that running prevents the urge to self harm, as both release the same endorphin that (usually) a person is seeking. Have you tried just a little bit of a jog when you feel in these moods? Even at night, with angry music, it can be such a help.
And also I strongly urge you to admit to your therapist that you're gay. Therapists are used to hearing the weirdest stuff, being gay will be nothing new to them, I can almost promise you that, then again I do not know how "conservative" your area is. Therapists usually become therapists because they have gone through very rough times themselves and have become open minded people. How much of a weight off of your shoulders would it be to admit this to any person, really? As soon as it is off your chest to her/him, it will become a lot easier to admit to any person.
I remember when I first admitted to my therapist that I was a lesbian, I expected her to freak out. It didn't happen. In fact afterwards I felt like I wasn't messed up enough to see her. Haaha. Therapists go into their job expecting to hear problems and help people feel better, that's all, they will not judge you depending on the problem, I feel as if it is not even in their right to do so.