I feel like at this point in my life, I have to come to terms with this. Not only am I veeeery confused, but it's something I feel like I constantly try to ignore- yet, I can never seem to because I think about it a lot. Too often. It's been about a year since I first started really questioning myself, but I've been too scared to really talk to anyone about it. Even posting about it here was pretty difficult for me. I just don't really know where I stand right now. Well, I know for sure that I'm not straight. So, gay or bi? I don't know if this is my reflex (since I'm used to living a 'straight' life) to not accept all of this right now, or if I'm actually bi- if that makes sense. Ughhh. It's a lot to deal with, and I feel like it's healthy to just let all of these thoughts out somewhere. Thanks in advance for any help.
I'm in very much te same situation, or at least was. I know tou'r going to hear it a lot and that it isn't what you probably want to here but you'll have to just give it time. That's what's helped me so far. The longer you think about it the more comfortable you'll get and the awnsers will start to become clearer. That said, try not to fixate on it too much. I know I know, that's way easier said than done and I still do it, but if you can keep your mind off of it for a bit that helps to. Live your life and if you're open to it your orientation will become clear to you on it's own. Again I know all of that is easie said than done because I'm still going through it but it's food advice.
Welcome to EC! :smilewave I can totally relate to what you're going through. I spent about a year thinking "what the hell is happening to me!?" At first I wanted to investigate what these feelings towards girls were all about but the more I did that the more obsessed I became with it and the more confused I got! By chance I came across this site and after spending a lot of time browsing through posts, I finally decided to become a member. So far it has helped me tremendously! I hope it will do the same for you :icon_wink Like rx79g said, the more you think about it, the clearer things will become after you've answered all the questions. I suggest you try to step back and observe your reactions and feelings towards girls and guys in general, observe what you fantasize about, what you want most at present (whether you'd rather be with a girl or a guy and whether you could see yourself with one or the other in the future, etc). Just try to take an objective stance on your life to get things a bit clearer. And reading posts on here will also help I'm sure. Yes, it's a common reflex... it's not easy to accept something out of the ordinary but with time, you will come to accept it, whether you're bi or gay. Good luck and hang in there (*hug*)
I just about drove myself crazy during my questioning phase. I was very ashamed at first, but I couldn't deny who I was anymore - still am today. It's been a long tough journey and I know exactly what you're going through. If it feels right to love another woman as more than a friend, I'd have to say it's pretty awesome =) Anyway lol...don't rush it, just go with the flow. It worked for me, and then I became more confident. I started talking to people who were going through the same denial that I was experiencing...It'll come to you when the time is right.
Thanks everyone for your help! Relationshipwise, I see myself with a girl, not a guy...But I don't know, maybe that's only because I've been questioning so much and overthinking it. Like, the thought of being with a guy isn't super unappealing or anything. I basically had a huge crush on this girl a year ago, and have been questioning since then. So it's like ever since her I haven't really been able to see guys in the same light as girls- but is that just because I was in a state of confusion? It's really hard to actually write out my feelings on this situation, but sometimes I feel like I'm just telling myself I'm gay. I know a lot of people say that 'if you're gay, you just know it' or something along those lines and i DON'T just 'know it' so where does that put me? And I'm in a situation where literally there are like maybe 3 people out in our entire high school so...while the people aren't necessarily super homophobic or anything, it's not a super LGBT friendly environment.
I'm like this; I was getting comfortable as gay and being happy with it, and now I'm confused again. >.< The only way forward is experimentation
I was in the same situation when i was 13-14. I kept thinking "is that really happening to me?" And was always scared of it. And not only me and you...many other people go trough that. All I did was follow what felt nice to me, and ignored the thoughts that other people would hate me because of it. I think the important is to be happy, do what will make you happy, you will eventualy find out whats your orientation, or you might not find it at all, but still be happy : P. I am still a bit confused about it, I'm not sure if I like girls, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't, but I'm completely fine with myself, because I know that regardless of what I like, i will seek happiness.