i'm physically attracted to girls and would date them and all that lesbian stuff but i'm confused that i might be asexual... but i like being gay rather than the thought of never having a love and partner. i mean i'm attracted to girls not guys! but i don't want a relationship and i don't check out people anymore unless they are like specifically to a point what i like (emo girls or really butch lesbians both which i rarely ever see and nothing else is attractive to me). but there are people who are its just like 1 in 100 or 1 in 500. and i'm not in a dating mood at the moment since i'm peicing my life together. does that make me asexual?
Nope, it doesn't make you asexual necessarily. I believe asexuality means you don't have any attraction sexually, or you have no desire to have sex and you never have. If it's any consolation, I'm in the same boat as you actually. Just like you know that you like girls, I know that I like guys. I too don't want a relationship nor do I check people out very often. I don't consider myself asexual. And you don't have to consider yourself that either just because you don't feel like dating at the moment.
I don't think it necessarily makes you asexual. You are still young, so things might change. I went through the same feelings when I thought I might be asexual. I'd rather be gay so I don't have to be alone for the rest of my life than asexual. But that's not necessarily the case either. You can still find love and a relationship even if you are homoasexual, but it will be more difficult. I can tell you that at 15 I had absolutely no interest in dating anyone. I knew I didn't like boys, and that I had an attraction towards girls, but I still didn't have any interest in dating. Now at almost 22 I can say I am finally ready to date, I just need to find the girl (do I sense a new year's resolution?). I think you might feel the same way later in life. Like you said, you are trying to piece your life together right now, and that is certainly the most important thing. I think once you do that and you are fully comfortable with where you are in life, then the whole dating/relationship thing will fall in place. Hope that helps, and know that you are not the only one in your position.
Morgan. I think of life as a series of plateaus,or different levels.As you say you're in the process of piecing your life together.That's a major plateau.Don't worry about the other stuff right now.It'll all come together when it's time.Be patient.
I agree with what other posters have said. You are still piecing your life together and that takes time. For some it takes less time then others. But even then you don't really stop piecing your life together in a sense. It just takes less effort and less brain and heart usage then it does at your age. The meaning of asexuality from the Oxford dictionary is someone without sexual feelings or associations. So this could mean that you don't have any sexual feelings. Which I doubt because you just said that "emo girls and butches" get your fancy. So it could be "without associations" as in you are not identifying as lesbian or bisexual at this time because you are still working out who you are. Which is also how I've seen the word used. Also, it could be just that your natural attraction mechanisms are picky about what type of woman.... I was in a sort of similar position as you. I was piecing myself together and trying to figure things out. And didn't know if I was bisexual leaning towards women or lesbian so I refused to identify as anything. I wouldn't say I was asexual though as everyone then assumes you have no sexual feelings. And that was far from the truth. -looks innocent and fails- Patience is a virtue though. And you will still have time to figure yourself out. On the subject of thinking of life as different levels. I tend to think of it as a maze and a maze of closets....metaphorical closets. Hence the title of my blog that i just started which is "The Mazes and Closets of Life". I know sounds corny. But what do I care? I hope that sort of helps.
