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Things i need to know about a relationship? I'm Concerned about many things....

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by Gleeko0, Mar 17, 2012.

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  1. Gleeko0

    Gleeko0
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    Location:
    Brazil
    Gender:
    Male
    Gender Pronoun:
    He
    Sexual Orientation:
    Gay
    Out Status:
    Out to everyone
    Hello EC!!!

    First of all, I'd like to thank everybody here because without your advices it would have been harder for me to not only accept myself but also deal with many issues on my life derived from my internal conflicts and external conflicts, and i would not be able to like someone without being completely okay with myself.

    So...I guess I found a partner. We met each other a week ago, and been talking constantly to each other...yesterday we hung out with my friends, because I invited him, and it simply happened. I had my first kiss with a guy and first French kiss ever (or "real kiss"?, damn. All i know is that it was very good :T), and that was an amazing experience.

    I'm the kind of person that likes serious stuff, and he is too. He dated girls and a guy before, i never dated.

    Hes a very kind and loving person, and thats exactly what i want. I am 1 year older than him.

    The chemistry between us is great, but one thing is concerning me...

    I think the key for a successful relationship (and many other things) is to NOT rush things up, based on friend's experiences and many things. And I'm going easy with everything. I know he wants a commitment with me, and me too, but I am not sure what i heard yesterday when we were saying good bye, did he really say "I love you"? :confused: I mean....I know we are both young and technically not very mature, I am aware the word "love" is very strong, so.. i guess he might not be aware what it means that much? That scared me a bit, and if he really said it...i think he is rushing things up. I don't know how to deal with that, and i surely won't say "i love you" back for a considerable time..at least a few weeks, that might hurt him and send the wrong message, mainly because "love", for me, is also a symbolical word, that means you are getting into a very serious commitment, and i need to know him more before meaning that. please Help me D:, i really don't know how to deal with that.

    Another thing I'm concerned about...is...the public.

    Yesterday we didn't kiss each other for good bye, and we are both concerned about our surroundings...and we both look very straight acting. Should we just act normally and cuddle in public and do things any other couple would do (i know, we should not.... make out in public, i didn't mean anything near that.)? Or should we be careful about doing anything that means affection between us, in public?

    I'm very happy i saw 3 or more openly homosexual couples yesterday, so i guess its alright? And.. would our apparent age be an aggravating point for all this? I am 16, he is 15, but he looks older than me, like 17.

    I personally think that...the best to do is to evaluate the place you are in and its surroundings before doing anything. The shopping we were yesterday seemed fine ...but we weren't comfortable to cuddle, hold hands, or do anything like that in public, even though we wanted to do it very bad :T.


    Thanks for your time, I'm sorry i wrote that much again. Sorry about any grammatic failures, English is not my native language, I'm Brazilian.
     
    #1 Gleeko0, Mar 17, 2012
  2. Toneth

    Toneth
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    lol, less stressing, more just enjoying his company, just figure it out as you go and have some fun :slight_smile:
     
    #2 Toneth, Mar 17, 2012
  3. Maialuna

    Maialuna
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    Ahh, the Lawkword. If you feel uncomfortable saying I love you yet, I would tell him. I think anyone would be somewhat hurt by that, but he sounds very understanding and he will be if he really does love you. :slight_smile:

    As far as the public, I think it depends on where you are. If you feel like you're in a safe place where you won't get hassled, or there are people who would stop the hassling, then I'd go for it and hold hands. If you see other same-sex couples holding hands, I think you definitely can. It all depends on both of your comfort levels, though.

    My girlfriend and I usually hold hands in public places, but that probably has to do with the fact that she knows if anyone said anything mean to her in front of it they would have hell to pay. XD

    Also, I wouldn't have guessed English wasn't your second language until you mentioned it. :slight_smile:
     
    #3 Maialuna, Mar 20, 2012
  4. TroubledRyan

    TroubledRyan
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    You need to stop stressing! Relationships are (can?) be fun. As Maialuna said, just explain to him that the word 'love' holds alot of meaning behind it to you, and you want to make sure you truly do love him!

    As for the public affection, it really is what your comfertable with, and your invironment. I personally try not to be to publically effectinant for the simple fact that most people don't want to see it, gay or straight.
     
    #4 TroubledRyan, Mar 20, 2012
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