Hopefully, I'll be getting my full membership soon. But I'd really like to talk to some other Witnesses about their experiences and share mine. Maybe we can help each other out some!
Hello, Welcome to EC. I'm not religious, but perhaps I, as well as others, could provide advice if you let us know what you're struggling with. I do not think it is necessary to share the same religious views in order to help. But if you find a JW on EC then even better, just wanted to let you know most of us have shared the same struggle.
I'd just like to echo what Nat3 said. Hopefully there is another JW on here who you can talk to, but please don't feel that you can't share any problems or thoughts with the rest of us. There's a mix of people here, from different religions to none. I myself used to be Christian but not so much anymore. What most of us have in common though is, as Nat3 said, having gone through or going through the same struggle. We'll always be about to help regardless of religious belief.
There was someone here who came from a JW family. He isn't on here very often (if at all) any more but I'll send him a note to see if he can comment here.
Jim is right, I am not here all that often (if at all) anymore. Life has a tendency to get in the way of staying in touch all to often. Thanks for reaching out Jim. Hello PianoNate! I understand you are looking to talk with those coming from a JW background. Well you are in luck, I am such a fellow. What would you like to know?
Thanks for responses. As always, everyone in here is superkind and supportive. Lane, I just wanted to talk to someone about their experience and how they found a way to reconcile all the conflicting emotions. I'm so spectacularly unhappy right now, but I wonder if I come out and go through all the drama associated with that for a Witness, will I be happier? or would I just be trading one set of disappointments for another? Also, you know how insular and cloistered the Witnesses are. Where do you go? What do you do? I feel like I have no roadmap for what I want to accomplish to move forward. There should be like a halfway house ... or Witness detox center or something. lol ... I seriously don't even know how to live "in the world". Just wondering how someone else coped with all that. Thx Jim for caring enough to look someone up to help me.
Well, those are certainly the expected questions. And what you are asking is really several conversations worth of information, so I will provide what I can for now. I will simply start by saying that I am happier now, overall, than I was living a 'double-life' under the guise of a straight man within the JW 'family'. That life ate away at me to my very core, and while I had many friends and family members around me with which to socialize, I knew I could never be truly happy or open about who I was within that environment. In the end, some hope of finding a better life won out over keeping the 'status quo.' That being said, the road from there to here has been long and bumpy. I have moved state-to-state twice since 2009; once to start over after coming out, and once more recently for work. I have lost far more friends than I have gained, but at the same time I have managed to find and keep several very good loyal true friends along the journey. Reconciling what you have been taught with what you feel and want to believe can be difficult. It certainly has been a struggle for me, one I am far more happy to ignore than give serious thought to sometimes. Personally I was born into a JW family, by the time I was born my Father had already been an Elder for 6 years. All my friends, the vast majority of my family, immediate and extended, was and still is JW. So when it came to me wanting to live a happy life as who I was and not who they wanted and expected me to be, it took me a little while to finally break the chains and walk away...28 years to be exact. Where do you go?: You go wherever you need to, wherever you have to, wherever you can to get safe needed support. Preferably not a bar, cause that much drinking in an already depressive state is not a road you want to walk down, trust me. I had one added luxury in this area, I had one Aunt who was not a JW, and who ironically was a retired Catholic Nun, who embraced me and who has been to more gay pride parades than I have. Having her around in the early stages was outstanding, but not perfect, we maybe got together once a month at most. What do you do?: If you are serious about moving forward with your life, and breaking out of the congregation. Then you need to start planning a bit. You don't want to jump-in head first and hope for the best. Get as many things planned ahead of time as possible to safeguard your health and happiness. EC is certainly a good place to start. Oh, and living in 'the world' is not nearly as bad as they make it out to seem. In fact it's not really 'bad' at all, providing you can reconcile who you are with your beliefs. Which takes time, so don't feel you need to rush that. Hopefully some of that helped out a bit. Please feel free to reach out to me more if you have anything specific you would like to talk about. And even if you just need support, I am game for that too. Cheers!
Thank you Lane for responding so quickly ... I really appreciate the thoughts behind your reply. And of course, shame on me for continuing to talk to you, because I assume you've been DF'd. I was raised a Witness too, but I have never been truly happy. I just need to find a way to get out and move on. All of my family, immediate and extended, are long-time active Witnesses. I can't even think of a friend I have that's not in the organization. Hopefully, I'll find some here to start. Thanks again for taking time to talk to me, Lane.
I was never DF'ed, I became inactive and remained inactive and did not attempt to continue associating with previous friends and family. I chose not to place them in a situation where they would have to cut me off. It's a tough stance to take, but was the right decision for me at the time. Whether or not you become inactive or DF'ed yourself, or even do nothing. I will not forsake you, I will not cease to offer support or advice, that is simply not my style.
I'm not JW, but I am Christian, and though they are different, I'd be happy to talk to you if you want to talk about anything.
