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Between the rock and a hard place

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by JackSplat, Mar 18, 2012.

  1. JackSplat

    Regular Member

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    Location:
    South Africa
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    Some people
    Ok, so I am trying to figure out what is wrong with me. I have posted about this before but I am still struggling to get through this. I have made an appointment with a Psychologist, a brilliant one they say, but I still have to wait until middle April before I can see him. It is difficult for me to wait for such a long time, I don’t know if I will make it.
    I have a very close friend, been friends for sixteen years, who is also gay. We both have been very closeted until recently. I have few other friends and he understands me like no-one else. I love him dearly. Due to circumstance and the fact that we were both hiding from who we really are, we became very close and we shared almost everything, except we never took our relationship to the sexual level. I wanted to but he did not, I am not his type you see. This in itself is not a problem for me and I respect his wishes.
    Now for the troubling bit; He recently got himself a boyfriend, a very nice guy actually. Since then he has become another person. I can see that he is very happy, but it makes me feel like I do not exist to him anymore. I see him once a week, and at the end of the evening, when he leaves, it feels like someone is ripping my heart out. It literally takes a day or two for me to recover from it. He never instigates any communication during the week. In the past we regularly contacted each other and discussed our days via FB or texts etc, now it is like I am dead to him until next week. If I send him a text he will reply to it, but he will not enquire how my day went or anything out of his own.
    I cannot see how to fix this. I cannot stop seeing him because he is like my brother, the only person with whom I can discuss my problems and achievements etc. On the other side I cannot go through this every week, it feels like l am losing him over and over again. I cannot handle this anymore!
     
  2. sanguine

    Full Member

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    (*hug*) well that sucks, i think its important to have someone close especially when you hit hard times like acceptance and moving on, im guessing you dont have any other close friends to talk to? i think it would be great to try and reach out to another person/people, just someone who cares, i know that was a big help for me to actually have real people who didnt care about my sexuality.
    and try not to let it get to you also, you need to remind yourself you can stand on yourself if you had to.
    and on the last note you can also talk to people here on EC through wall posts or another thread like this, alot of the guys and girls here will gladly talk to you so dont be shy to strike a conversation.