"Brainwashed"

I have honestly felt this way and still sort of do. What I have been told by others is that you can't be made gay, but seeing it in the media and having famous role models who are out and such makes it much easier for you to realize and accept the possibility that you are gay.

 

While I agree that for many teens sexuality is a rather murky nebulous thing, that doesn't mean that they are confused and sort of "brainwash" themselves into believing they are gay or bi, rather that they are more accepting of the possibility. I DO believe it's something you have to discover on your own and that might mean a little experimentation to find out what works and what doesn't. In the end though, you're the only one who truly knows whether you're gay or straight or bi.

 

I don't think someone can judge your sexuality based on one anecdote through another person (aka your mom passing this along the little you said, re-phrasing it, and the therapist judging on that one comment). The therapist is also there for your mother, not for you. He/she doesn't know the complete situation either, and I wouldn't want to tell my mom that because IT'S AWKWARD haha.

When my mom said maybe it was just a phase, I felt personally offended. I realized afterwards that my reaction was a way of saying to myself without knowing it that I really feel this way (otherwise I wouldn't have acted so strongly against it or questioned her words).

Also, I strongly strongly recommend not seeing your mom's therapist. I do recommend seeing your own therapist. Therapists are not supposed to see members of the same family anyways as general protocol.

Lastly, no one can tell you who you are. You're in the questioning stage, which for me was the hardest part because it was slower than I wanted it to be, but as my signature says below, you'll figure it out for yourself and be happy about it.

---------- Post added 18th Mar 2012 at 05:42 PM ----------

PS I love How to Train Your Dragon =)

 

I know I'm so psyched! astrid also is a very hot character (despite the name haha)

I know it's slow. I hope some of my advice is heed-able, and that you don't take the whole mom/therapist thing so seriously at this point, since, after all, you're not going to immediately find the answers to all of this.

 

My mom also said that my attraction to women was a phase. In my case, I'm trans, so she rationalized that I will like girls until I settle into female gender roles, then I'll magically start liking men. So far, my attraction to women has gotten stronger, as if I have become more comfortable with my gender, body, and sexual orientation.

Going through the questioning stage does suck. I went through a long one because I didn't want to be gay when I was younger. Yeah, I always saw my attraction to other girls as homosexual and I used to be very uncomfortable with it. I tried dating guys for about five years, but it just didn't work. I just decided to not date at all after that. I didn't really come to terms with my sexual orientation until rather recently.

It always felt weird calling myself a lesbian--being trans and all. I got caught up in what others might think and I feared being rejected by the lesbian community. Instead, the lesbian community embraced me with open arms. I have a lot of queer friends that make me feel like I'm part of something special. While I'm still single, I am seeing this one girl now and I'm hoping that things will work out.

The main lesson to take away from my experience: love yourself for who you are. It doesn't matter if you find out that you're gay or straight.

 

There's gonna be a sequel??!! Awesome!! I love that movie. Ahem, now to answer your question... I'm gonna agree with everyone else and say that you can't be brainwashed into thinking that you're gay. As you get older, your sexuality starts becoming clearer. If you're thinking about having sex with women and being in a relationship with another woman and you get turned on by women, it is very likely that you are not straight.

I'll agree that the teenage years can be confusing and some people might think they're gay and it turns out they're not. When I was 13, I had a friend who thought she was bi because she thought girls were pretty. She then made out with a girl (also a friend) who also thought she was bi. They both didn't care for the experience and didn't get anything out of it. They realized that they were straight after all. Funny how out of the 3 of us, I never experimented and I turned out to be gay :lol: So as you can see, you can't really make yourself gay/bi.

 

I had the same problem, at first Ithought Iwas actually thought I was only admiring the girls I would get attracted to and I thought it was a stage. But being raised in a homophobic environment being homosexual was out of the question. Around age 12 or so when my friends all started to have bfs I was not really interested though I thought guys were cute. It really started bothering me for the last 2 months and I setled on saying I was 'kinda bi' but these days after talking online to other LGBT people I realised that I only think of guys as friends and so i guess I'm a lesbian but I haven't fully accepted it, sorta scared to do so...

But from my experience I know its very confusing to not know your sexuality its a hard time and you need support. But only time will tell just wait it out and sooner or later the answer will literally hit you in the face, lol. Good luck and just stay patient, as I've realised that even after realising your sexuality accepting it is a whole different story and that too will take time I know because I'm going throgh that stage atm. Good luck again and be proud .

 

Everyone questions sometimes. I thought that I was exclusively a lesbian, but then last month in phys ed, I found I couldn't help but watch the backside of the guy in front of me as we were jogging on the track... Luckily nobody noticed.

A similar thing happened when I started having, shall we say, certain thoughts about my best friend, who is a guy. They passed after a day or so though.

I think I might be slightly bisexual, but I'm not really sure. Look, I don't have any real point here, but the point I'm trying to make is that I actually do have a point even though I said I didn't have a point, but I do have a point, and my point is that nobody can tell you who you are, except for yourself. Yes, we are influenced by outside factors, but there's no way in hell it's possible for you to be "brainwashing yourself."

Basically, whoever said that is clearly not qualified as they think they are. That's it. And in the words of Three Dog from Fallout 3, "Thanks for listening, chillllldren!"

 

Keep in mind that this post could be considered biased and unethical as well, perhaps more so than the unconfirmed Christian doctor who you have labeled as incompetent. It is possible to be brainwashed, dont be fooled. The real question is why do you want the label so badly? Just be yourself and sooner or later you will have plenty of evidence to support or refute your theories. Lets be honest, you are making a lot rather serious decisions based on your experiences with anime.

 

While there is more "gay" in the media now than there used to be, heterosexuality is still portrayed much more frequently. You are still inundated by straight imagery and themes almost constantly, while you encounter gay imagery and themes only occasionally, unless you purposely seek them out.

Therefore, whatever influence the media may or may not have in terms of "brainwashing," it would not make you think you are gay, it would make you assume you are straight. This is, in fact, a factor in why some people take longer to figure out that they are gay.

When I was young, I became obsessed with a book about a girl who disguised herself as a boy to enter knight training. Some people might suppose that that book made me the femme I am today, that it was the reason I became interested in butch women; but they are wrong. The book appealed to me in the first place because, at ten years old, I already had the sexual orientation that I still have today. I liked the book because I was gay; I am not gay because I liked the book.

I also liked some books I read about gay men as a teenager. I think I related to them better than I did to books about straight people.

I think you should consider your attractions related to live human beings above your interests in anime, in determining your sexual orientation. However, if you are consistently drawn to things with gay and (especially) lesbian themes, it is much more likely that this is BECAUSE you are gay, rather than being what's making you think you are gay.

Keep in mind, you are hearing what your mother's therapist said second-hand, through the filter of your mother. It sounds like she's in the denial or bargaining stage still, so you should keep that in mind. It may be that the therapist conceded that it was POSSIBLE that you aren't really gay, and you just think you are because of all the anime, and your mother, because she is in denial, has taken that to mean that you MOST LIKELY AREN'T gay. It may even be your mother that suggested the explanation, and her therapist just conceded to it. Does that seem plausible?

If it's not a faith-based therapist, you might consider talking to him yourself. It may be that he wants to talk with you so that he can confirm that you are, in fact, gay, and that way he can help your mother through the acceptance process, which she is apparently struggling with. (This would make sense with your mother, rather than you, being the primary patient.)