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Do they know?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by fatalmoon91, Mar 18, 2012.

  1. fatalmoon91

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    So I've been trying to tell my parents that i am gay for quite awhile now. and since i was a kid they have on numerous occasions asked me blatantly if i was gay. being that my mind had not accepted the answer my heart wanted to say i always answered with a quick "no". or at least in my mind thats what always happened. lately what seems like a memory has been popping into my head of me telling them i was questioning when i was about 9-10 years old. i don't remember their reaction and around that age is where most of my memories start to appear i have only a couple of times before then and they are around 7-9 years old. so i don't know whether to trust this memory or not. also my parents seem to make subtle hints in a playful way. the other day i was shopping with my mom and dad and on the thought of going to look at fabrics i perked up a bit. my first thought was to use that as an opportunity to tell them and so i started to say things like "what has costume construction done to me." and my mom answered back with an almost sarcastic but not really "it's turned you gay." i froze and didn't deny it or really respond to the comment so i wasn't sure how she took it because the topic changed quickly. earlier that same day i had told them about an instant where one of my friends thought a male waiter in a bakery was hitting on me. (i left out the part where she told me to give him my number.) and the only thing they responded with was "well..." part of me wants my parents to know in their hearts and part of me feels like if they do it will make coming out to them so much more awkward than it should be.
     
  2. Cloudbreaker

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    I'm not going to lie, your parents sound awesome. And they don't seem too put off by the possibility of you being gay. Or at least not put off by the idea of a guy hitting on you. If you think they know you are gay, but aren't sure, maybe you could just casually ask them if they know you are gay.
     
  3. zzzero

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    it sounds like they definintely have an idea but they want to respect your trust.

    What do you think will happen if you come out to them? (it sounds like they do have an idea and are willing to accept that in you)
     
  4. I want to agree with everything this guy said :king:
     
  5. fatalmoon91

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    honestly i don't know what will happen if i tell them or if they know...honestly i feel like its been hard to tell them for that reason and that reason alone. normally i like to have a preplanned conversation thought out in my head but lately i haven't been able to make one for anything especially not for talking to them about who I'm...er interested in. this is what makes me the saddest though as i feel my parents are some of the closest people in my life, and lately i've felt like i'm trapped when im talking to them. i think im also worried that if i come out to them now, they will blame my roommates or something because i moved out about 3 months ago, and i've already been more adventurous, I guess, since i did.
     
  6. Nat3

    Nat3 Guest

    Hello, I don't think I have had the chance to say welcome to EC. :slight_smile:

    I think you first have to think of your fears, and decided whether these fears are rational or not. At times when we are nervous we think of the million things that could go wrong, and do not think of the positive outcomes. If you think they will understand - or even if they will not- do you think it is worth it to take off the weight you carry on your shoulders?
    You are the one who knows your parents best, so maybe you already have an idea of how they will react... think of the good things that will come out of letting them know, do they outweigh the negatives?