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I'm Dead

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by PistolWhip, Mar 19, 2012.

  1. PistolWhip

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    Here's the story. I'm shaking as I'm writing this so bear with the spelling or grammar or whatever. Tonight it was just me and my dad, just talking having some fun usual bullshit. But he announces he's going to bed. I stop him asking if he can keep a secret. He auto assumes I played around with somebody's money and they're out for me or that I busted someone up and needed some help. I shit myself to say the least and chalked it down as nothing but he pressed me. I panicked and took refuge in my room. He came in and asked me a final time, I told him "All's well it's nothing, sure I'll be grand." he leaves. Angry with myself for bitching out I sent him an email. The subject line was "Loose Lips Cost Lives."
    It was me explaining myself and constantly saying how he shouldn't utter a word to anyone about this, or else I'll slice him up with my Knife collection. I'm scared, it's 2am now I have to get p in 6 hours for school. I'm not going to sleep a wink. I've went into hopeless fights with more courage than this. If my father can't accept me, it's game fucking over.
     
  2. TheAMan

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    The best thing you can do in this situation is think positive. It soudns like you and your father have a great relationship so I think he will accept you. Keep the faith.
     
  3. Trixxster

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    Okay, first piece of advice, threatening your father or anyone for that matter with death for telling a secret is not going to make anything better, and will most likely only make things worse. You sound like a tough kind of guy, but I don't really think it's normal for someone to be threatening death on someone like this and I think you may need professional help.

    You're 15 so financially you're dependent on your family, so maybe hold off unless you're a hundred percent sure it won't turn sour to come out to your father. That's the best advice I can give without knowing more.
     
  4. Cloudbreaker

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    Hmm, so you are saying that he tried to get you to tell him your secret, but you wouldn't? A secret that you claimed was nothing, but once he continued to press you for an explanation, you still couldn't tell him? Then you threatened him not to tell anyone what you didn't actually tell him?

    Dude, your dad is probably freaking out worse than you are right now. Something huge is obviously bothering you and he has no idea what it is.

    Or when you said you "explained yourself constantly" in your email, did that mean you came out to him in the email and are now worried?

    Either way, I think I would expect to have another talk with your father. Just try taking a few deep breaths whenever you start feeling anxious. Then when the talk inevitably does come, try to stay focused and calm if possible. You sound like a tough kid who can handle himself pretty well. And once you make it through this, whether you tell him or not, you'll be that much stronger. I'll be rooting for you!
     
  5. Gravity

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    You might start by apologizing for threatening your father. I can understand the impulse, given what you're hiding and your fear over his reaction, but he didn't even do anything yet - he has no idea what you were about to tell him.

    It sounds like you really aren't ready to come out to him yet, so as a thought, here's what you might do. Tell your dad you just aren't ready to talk about it yet, but reassure him everything's fine (he may be a little worried about this, depending on how typical this was for you). Then start thinking about why you reacted like you did, and how you can prepare yourself for next time. Remember, this isn't a fight - it's about winning your dad over to your cause and getting him to see your side of things.

    Good luck!
     
  6. BudderMC

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    This is what I'm trying to figure out too...

    To echo what everyone else said, apologize for threatening him. Regardless whether you came out or not, threatening him does absolutely no good in this situation, and just escalates the chance that something bad will go down. Not to mention if he's as much as a badass or alpha-male or whatever as I vaguely remember you putting somewhere else, you aren't really in any position to be threatening him either.

    The sooner you do it the better, as well. If you apologize quickly, it immediately becomes a brief lapse of judgement vs. something you really really regret doing a day or two later. It also indicates you weren't really ready to handle whatever it is you wanted to talk about. There's more intention there if you let it linger for a while, so get on top of it ASAP.

    Fix what you did properly, then take the rest of the coming out (or not coming out) at your own pace. At the very least, your father will hopefully understand that you're stressing out big time and will know to not ask again.