So I recently started talking to a friend from my old school about 2-3 years ago when I left, and after all this time I sort of went into depression about being gay etc and just covered it by playing games for the whole 2-3 year duration, anyway about 4-5 months ago I recovered and am now meeting up with all my old friends again, but I noticed on this particular friend's Facebook that he recently broke up with his girlfriend, without saying why and he has "interested in men," I know a few friends that have this as a form of amusmant which really pisses me off because it just confuses and teases me with what I can't have. So... How can I ask if he does indeed like guys without sounding intrusive? Please remember I have only started talking to him today for the first time in 2-3 years, I don't just want to randomly bring up my orientation as he will think that's random and start suspecting, I can't just ask him as we have only just started talking and he may get offended that I thought that if he is not, and I don't want to seem like I have been stalking him on Facebook reading his info. Suggestions?
be friends with him. the sexual orientation thing doesnt really matter at this point. if he is out, then it will come up. if he was playing around then you will find out sooner or later. the main thng is just be friends with the kid. all the rest will come out sooner or later.
I agree. As your friendship re-develops I'm sure the topic will come up at some point. Be patient. (trust me I know it's hard because I've been in a pretty similar situation. Haha. Oh facebook. )
yea one thing u dont wanna do is rush it. if he is gay, it may turn him off because it may seem like you are panting down his door like a dog in heat. if he is straight he may be turned off because he think the same thing and he is not interested in men. either way, the fact that he put interested in men up there suggest that he is gay friendly even if he is not gay. if he did it as a homophobic joke then maybe that's not the kinda friend you want. i know some guys on facebook say homosexual thing to each other but they are really not homosexual and they do it as a joke but they really are kinda homophobic but some of the pictures they post about seem to make me think maybe they are curious.
A way you could ask non-intrusively is like this: "I noticed your status on Facebook says "Interested in men." I was wondering if it is true or just a joke. It's totally fine with me if it's true, but I didn't want to assume without asking you first."
Maybe you're right insidehappy, I think I'll ask him about after we have hung out a few times, because you are right, I don't want a friend who does that has a homophobic joke, so if it isn't up there because of that, as you said he should be gay-friendly. Well Cloudbreaker I appriciate the help but that will seem like I've been stalking him, it would be a bit weird if a friend you haven't spoken to in a couple years has been looking at who you're interested in, I don't want to seem like I'm desperate or stalking him at all.
That makes sense. And there is no doubt know your friend better than I do. I hope everything turns out for the best between you two. Good luck!
