Sorry this is so long! Alright, so, the long and short of me is that literally everyone in this entire rural area knows me as "the lesbian that caused a fuss in the high school several years ago". I actually ended up falling in love with a man, Will, who was my best friend in high school, and marrying him. Point being, I have a husband but it's pretty clear that I prefer women. So anyway, my husband's brother wrote he was bisexual on Facebook about a week ago. I had noticed months ago that his Interested In section said men and women but, as he's always messing around and writing nonsense on there, we weren't sure. I did notice that he deleted all family, save my husband and I and some cousins. A few days ago, he confirmed that he was being serious. He said he knew we wouldn't care since I'm queer and Will obviously doesn't have an issue with gay people if he married me. All the same, though, he waited until Will was in a store to say more. He said he had only told three people before putting it on Facebook. He also said he was really nervous about saying anything because of his group of friends, but save a couple of vague references, no one's said anything. Then Will came out and he stopped talking again. I really want to send him a message on Facebook telling him that if he ever needs to talk, he can call, come over, message me, whatever. But I don't want it to go over the wrong way, I guess. Their entire family is pretty private with emotions and he's a pretty masculine guy, so I don't know if he would talk to me or if he'd think I was coddling him or I suddenly thought he was sensitive because he likes guys. I'm just super worried about his friends. Some of them are alright, but some of them also spent our high school years shoving death threats in my locker and calling me a dyke every time they saw me. One of the guys who sometimes shows up (a friend of a friend) is a total nutcase. His family is a jump and a skip away from being a religious cult and he spends half his time complaining about gay people, racial minorities, and women. Am I over thinking things? I don't know if I'd make him feel better or worse by initiating a conversation.
Sounds like he might be trying to sort a lot of stuff out internally right now. Just letting him know that you are willing to talk things over with him would probably be good for him to hear, even if he never takes you up on the offer.
I did decide to message him. He said thank you and told me he'd shoot me a message if ever a reason came up. He isn't too sure who knows and who doesn't, but no one has given him any trouble over it yet, thank goodness. I just hope his friends stay his friends. I know people change, but I still haven't forgotten what they did to me and I don't want him going through it. Thanks.
