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At this point can I even call her a friend?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by MommaFrog, Mar 21, 2012.

  1. MommaFrog

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    Yayy facebook.... --__--

    So my "Best Friend" posted something, I commented, and her BF say this is a chance to attack me.... she refuses to defend me, but instead is texting me saying to ignore him.... I just dont know what to do.....

    HIM is her boyfriend


    ME is me

    OTHER is some other random comment from someone unimportant



    MY "BEST FRIEND"s POST

    5 hours ago via mobile ·
    Stop worrying about your messy hair, you messed up eye liner, and your curvy body. One day you'll find a guy who wont care about it!!!

    I found mine!!!!!! :slight_smile: — with HIM

    Like · · Unfollow Post
    3 people like this.

    ME
    ‎1) Your hair is cute messy 2)Your glasses cover your eyeliner 3)Curvy is good
    4 hours ago · Like

    OTHER
    Haha
    2 hours ago · Like

    MY BEST FRIEND
    are you laughing because I stole this from your picture?
    2 hours ago · Like

    HIM
    hey (my name), she wasn't talking about you.
    about an hour ago · Like · 2

    ME
    Never said she was, and she's already deleted that comment once... I was completely talking about her. I don't know why you feel the need to start pointless drama with me over trying to COMPLIMENT (my friend)...
    34 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    Because we all know what you are really trying to say. We also know that you don't have any place commenting on this.
    33 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    She is just too nice to say anything to you about it.
    32 minutes ago · Like

    ME
    Um, I was trying to say she shouldn't think of those things as things that were wrong with her, because they are not. YOU however are just trying to start drama needlessly.
    31 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    No, little child. More to the point, she's saying that while women think of these things as problems, that she has found someone who doesn't see them as anything wrong. Whereas you commenting on it in the way you did is more of a 'oh, she said something about him, I have to butt in on this even though it's not my place.'
    29 minutes ago · Like

    ME
    I said nothing about you until you started on me.
    27 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    No, that's my point. Is you comment about her, saying the same thing she basically said, but placing yourself as the subject, instead of the point she was making. Hence why I said 'fuck off'
    26 minutes ago · Like

    ME
    I didn't make myself the subject. I was addressing HER...
    25 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    Look at the post. I don't know why I'm repeating myself, but hey, I guess you just don't have the mental capacity to understand this. It's addressing those things, about herself, and then saying a specific person that she is talking about in direct correlation to those things. By commenting how you feel about them, you are attempting to place yourself in that position.
    22 minutes ago · Like · 1

    ME
    Nope, I'm good, don't want her. I have a girlfriend thank you.
    21 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    Yes, right. Not what little birdies say.
    20 minutes ago · Like · 1

    HIM
    But go ahead and live in what you say. I'm just pointing out the truth.
    20 minutes ago · Like · 1

    ME
    Well, thats what you get for listening to talking birds.
    20 minutes ago · Like

    ME
    Believe what you want, I don't have to justify myself to you. I just don't think its right to attack the best friend of the person you love for complimenting her
    19 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    Best friend... you really are living in denial.
    18 minutes ago · Like · 2

    ME
    Or choosing not to beleive a proven liar
    17 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    HAH! Yes, you are a proven liar. Apparently you don't know (my friend) as well as you'd like to believe. But I'll leave you to figure that out for yourself. I can just laugh as it is
    16 minutes ago · Like · 1

    ME
    Can you honestly say this disagreement was necessary? You know, human beings were gifited with the ability to use logic and reason. I said nothing offensive, derogatory, or negative, and yet you attack me when I'm trying VERY VERY VERY hard to be supportive of not only Lauren but the relationship between the two of you...
    12 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    Actually, it was very offensive, to both me and (my friend), because it degraded what she had meant in the post. Like I said, my other half is just too kind to say what she thinks on it. I honestly could care less what you think of our relationship when both mine and her families, and our actual friends, are supportive of us. We wouldn't need the likes of yourself. Who would though.
    10 minutes ago · Like · 1

    ME
    Say what you will, I think I will believe (My friend) over someone who has gone out of their way to hurt me, insult me, and degrade me before... you really are no better than my ex-husband as far as I am concerned, but (My friend) is a big girl and can make her own decisions, and I will support them.
    8 minutes ago · Like

    HIM
    Yes, degrade you because I told you what was going to happen with you exhusband, and told you that you were a fool to stay. But you wouldn't listen to a reasoning, logical person with some common sense thrown in. So that's how I'm degradi...
    See More
    3 minutes ago · Like · 1

    ME
    Case in point, you are trying to hurt me for no reason.
    about a minute ago · Like

    HIM
    No, case in point, you will believe what you want to believe, no matter what anyone says. You live in your own little fantasy world, and for that I pity you.
    a few seconds ago · Like

    ME I don't beleive what YOU tell me because YOU are a liar and I am well ware of that...
    17 minutes ago · Like

    HIM Oh yes, I am a liar. Apparently, everyone I know is reading this, liar has changed its meaning to mean a person who tells the truth. Because liar? No, the ability to lie does not find itself in my skill list. Sorry. But then again, you...
    See More
    11 minutes ago · Like

    ME Whatever you gotta tell yourself
    7 minutes ago · Like

    HIM Tell myself? No. I'm not telling myself. I don't have to. (my friend) also knows the truth about it. In fact, we've been discussing your lies on this very comment thread. So lonely it must be in your little fantasy world.
    6 minutes ago · Like

    ME I dont know why you feel this need to show dominance over her life. How threatened you are by my friendship to her
    2 minutes ago · Like

    HIM lol. Dominance over her life? No, see, that is what you would like to call it. I just decided that for once, I'm going to voice everything I have to listen to, every time you open your fat ass mouth.
    about a minute ago · Like
     
  2. greeneyes

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    I must confess, I got so angry in the middle of reading this I had to stop. This is ridiculous. No, she isn't your friend. No friend would let another friend be treated this way. I'm so sorry you had to deal with this. I would take a break from both of these people.
     
  3. The Escapist

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    Holy.. I got pissed off just reading that. I'm afraid I am not experienced in friend drama, but it doesn't seem like those two are in a healthy relationship. I get a very bad vibe from that guy. I know I don't know the whole story, but that's how I feel. Maybe your friend doesn't want to defend you because she knows her boyfriend will react negatively to her and will perhaps result in a fight or even a breakup. It doesn't sound like she wants to lose you as a friend, but is letting her boyfriend run you off. His irrational and illogical responses are very strange, it could be a result of jealousy of course. Which, actually, seems very possible. Or maybe he's just an argumentative person. Or possessive, which also seems possible. I don't know how to advise you, maybe you should wait this one out until your friend understands what kind of person he is, if that is the case. That's pretty much all I got from it.
     
  4. DegrassiLover10

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    If your friend cares more about some guy then you, get a new friend.
     
  5. Free Yourself

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    Yeah I couldn't even finish reading it!!! Ohhhhhhhh my goodness! OBVIOUSLY he has serious jealousy problems!! I can't believe your friend won't defend you in this!! So ridiculous! && for the record just because someone compliments someone else doesn't mean they want to be with them! Holy s h (eye) t ! (lol)
     
  6. MommaFrog

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    I've done nothing but cry... I just can't understand this....
     
  7. silverhalo

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    Its tough to understand illogical hurtful people, I think in future I would just ignore any comments he makes in relation to yours, I know you were just trying to justify and explain yourself but it doesnt matter how justified or right you are people like that will never admit they are wrong so I wouldnt waste my time with them.

    I think you would be better off putting your efforts into a friendship with someone who can return the efforts you make.
     
  8. damsel

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    Wow... like others before me, I got pretty angry just from reading that. I cannot begin to imagine how you must feel :/ I would try talking to your friend about this- ask her what's going on. A conversation could really help you figure out what is happening, and what you should do next. Have you had any bad experiences with her boyfriend before this?
     
  9. MommaFrog

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    He's my ex... he's admitted to only dating her ((at first)) to upset me....
     
  10. Zaio

    Zaio Guest

    As others have said I got very angry reading this... If people like this would cause you such feelings just don't bother with them, they don't deserve you as a friend if they would make you feel this way. Just cut off contact with them until either A. They leave you alone or B. Your "friend" realises she is in the wrong and apologises.
     
  11. MommaFrog

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    She never reacted to my comment to her post... which I was complimenting her.... He just wants to start drama and fights and crap.... i'm more upset that she didn't stand up for me that anything
     
  12. Mogget

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    I agree, this isn't about her being a bad friend, this is about her being in a bad relationship. If by your ex you mean this guy is your ex-husband, then you know she's in an abusive relationship.
     
  13. MommaFrog

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    He's not my ex husband tho at one point I did compare them, he is an ex boyfriend from BEFORE my ex husband tho...

    They lives MILES apart. It's a long distance relationship! He's in Kuwait!!!!
     
  14. Hana Solo

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    If I saw anyone fragging my friend off like that I'd be totally mad no matter who was doing the fragging and would chew them out. In fact, I have done so. I wouldn't call this girl your friend. If she simply wasn't online at the time to see the argument maybe that's an explanation- but from what you said it seems to imply that she did see it happen and didn't intercede. I'd be cautious to call her friend myself.
     
  15. MommaFrog

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    I texted her when is started and told her she needed to do something. She was aware of everything we each said as we said it.... she was watching it on her phone ((yayy iphones)) but refused to step in
     
  16. Kidd

    Kidd Guest

    I'd drop both of them like a bad habit. He sounds like the worst kind of asshole, and he totally humiliated himself, in my opinion. I'm going to second Hana here.
     
  17. Hana Solo

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    In that case she's not a very good friend. I wouldn't call her a friend.
     
  18. Maxis

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    I agree with everyone else. This girl isn't your friend. You need to get rid of her if she cares about not just her boyfriend but your ex more than she cares about you.
    And this guy is obviously a total jackass, I don't know why she'd be going out with him (but that's off-topic...).
    I hope you feel better soon. (*hug*)
     
  19. damsel

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    Given this new information, I'd have to agree with Hana Solo and Kidd- this girl doesn't sound like much of a friend. Friends are supposed to have your back, and she clearly does not. Drop her, and do whatever you can to stay far far away from her boyfriend/your ex.
     
  20. MommaFrog

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    She keeps texting me like nothing is wrong.... :frowning2: