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What do you do when no one supports your choices?

Discussion in 'Coming Out Advice' started by benji, Mar 21, 2012.

  1. benji

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    I'm a FTM transgender and I recently decided to start living the life of a male, but no one will call me the name I asked them to. They're actually refusing too, even my girlfriend wont call me it. Everyone makes fun of me because of it, even though they're just joking. I don't know what to do or to say to make them all realize that I'm being serious and that I feel strongly about this, and that I cannot do it without their support. Help me.
     
  2. DegrassiLover10

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    Not everyone is going to accept your decision. Some people it takes time but sometimes they never do. If you are going to start living as a man you can't let those comments get to you. Because for the rest of your life there will always be someone making dumb comments. Just live your life and be happy. If you ever want to talk about anything I'm here. :slight_smile:
     
  3. Hana Solo

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    Ask them to stop joking about it even in jest because it hurts. And what is your preferred name? We can call you it here. Degrassi is right too- not everyone will accept your decision, so you have to develop a tough skin to live as a man.
     
  4. colorful

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    I agree. You need to confront them about it. Some people will be more accepting than others, but that is something you are going to have to work through at the moment. Just tell them what you told us-you are serious.
     
  5. Chip

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    One solution is to quietly and gently refuse to respond when you're called by your given name instead of your chosen name. If they see that you respond quicker and more favorably to the new name, that will encourage them.

    At the same time, try not to get too upset when they're calling you the old name; they may just be doing it to get a rise, so if they don't get any response, they're more likely to conform to your wishes.
     
  6. The Escapist

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    That sounds like something I would have done back when I was transphobic (out of ignorance). I agree that you should refuse to respond to the wrong name, and talk to them and explain that this is serious and who you are.