Hey guys! I have some kind of a serious problem here, well since i am enjoying my gay life to the max and having a lot of wonderful friends that i came out to one my close friends warned me about this annoying douche bag at university spreading rumors that i am gay, even thou i don't act or look like one. Off course coming out in Middle East is forbidden and you already know that, so this douche bag called X is with my best friend Y and they met a guy lets call him Z and Z asked how did i do and that he didn't see me for a long time and then X says " Oh don't you know that he is already gay?" i mean seriously what the fuck i didn't even come out to him and all my friends who know i am gay are actually gay them self and straight acting so obviously i was not talked behind, but i just assumed that he saw me with one of my dates and not so far ago we came out drunk and we were bit touching but what to do i was drunk and i know i should have been more careful but my problem is i am already planning to confront him soon and tell him to drop the rumors about me but the only thing i am worried if he would ask me or tell me that he saw me with another guy touching and hugging each other in streets. the problem is in here is that our city is really small and nearly every one knows each other. G-d damn it i hate those kind of situations. Actually me and X have not been talking to each other for a year and he is really a douche bag he even stole something from my house and i actually forgave him after he told me so and apologized, he has been trying to be my friend @ university for a long time he did a lot of attempts like coming to my house twice a week and i just pretend i am not there and calling my phone numerous times and saying hi even thou i don't reply or look at his face. Been avoiding him because he is really bad but some people just don't get the Signals? so my question is do i have to beat the hell out of him @ university and get this physical conflict or what ? Sorry for long post and i hope i didn't bore you here but your comment means alot to me
wow first let me say x is a douche secondly violence is never the answer but prehaps a confrontation of a verbal dissagreement is in order and mabye he is saying things beacuse he cant admit his feelings and is envious but i really think you should try talking to him and some people dont get signals so just use your words(i know im a bit of a pacifist but it never fails)
I don't believe violence is never the answer, I believe violence is needed sometimes but shouldn't be used for fun or amusement or when it is generally pointless. azrae1, seriously do something about this. It is NEVER someone elses place to out someone else unless they are given permission by the person they are outing. It is INCREDIBLY out of order and disrespectful to do so, personally I think you should definitely confront him and tell him what it is he is actually doing, if not for you then for another gay guy that he will inevitably start terrorising.
Well, touchy issue, especially given the location you're in and the possible ramifications of coming out publicly in a place like the Gulf. So... I'm going to say: you don't want to escalate this. Starting fights, big public declarations of how you're not gay, any other kind of similar drama: they all draw attention to you as well as to him. In a way: the more you publicly deny being gay, the more people will start thinking you might be gay after all. So: I think you'd best completely ignore any accusations of you being gay. Laugh them off. Act as if you have no clue what he's talking about. Be slightly derisive of him accusing you (something like "wow. Seems you can't even hug a friend without being accused of all kinds of things, these days :rolle:"). If you do confront him on the slightly stalkerish behaviour, then try to be as matter-of-factly as possible "I do notice you've been trying to keep in touch. But I don't think a friendship would work out, especially not considering past history. So please don't try to contact me anymore". After that: he got the message and all you can do is keep ignoring him. If he's really desperate, then any attention (even bad kinds such as fighting) will be seen as better than no attention. So you really just want to treat him as air. Sure, a big confrontation can bring some satisfaction, but I do think you can miss all of the negative consequences it brings as well.
Yikes. I have several gay friends from the Middle East and one of them has gone through a similar situation. He acted really cool about it. He didn't get loud or violent because he thought it'd be too over the top. He started saying things like, "You seem awfully interested in trying to find out if I'm gay." and "Why are you so interested in me now that you think I'm gay?" If he mentions seeing you, I'd play it off like you were drunk and messing around - I wouldn't deny it happening. Good luck.
So i just ended the call with that Guy X who is a douche bag and i am really Shocked! So the phone call went really good and i didn't need to use the F word and shit like that. He said i didn't even mention your gay i just implied your gay. and i was like why and i barely talk to you ? he said thats one of the reasons i started avoiding you lately actually i didn't make this up since we never hang out anymore; i heard it from some guys and he told me the guy's name who was telling other guys. Actually that guy i came out to and i am really shocked since he accepted who i am... i mean why play the double face. anyway i am much more revealed now since that guy on phone was talking nice and i was in fear to escalate this into a big fight at campus just to defend me not being gay. Anyway i ended the call by i just wanted to know where was this coming from and i already know what i am which i am not gay and all but thanks for your info. Anywayz, its 1 more year at uni and i am already okay with being gay and it won't bother me, i mean i won't see those university guys anymore, honestly my gay connections are way better than straight one , i can't do anything to that guy who already knows i am gay and is outing by secret. i mean i already came out to him and there is no point into getting into a fight or confronting him which make things worst. Thanks for reading ! and i would like to thank all those who read this post with me and responded to what happened many thanks !
